Patriot Actors

I Miss the Berlin Wall

2009-11-09T18:11:00.000-08:00

I miss the Berlin wall. I know that’s not a particularly PC thing to say and, if given the opportunity, I certainly wouldn’t advocate building it again – or building our own facsimile on our southern border for that matter – but I don’t know if I’ll ever choose to return to the now reunited city of Berlin.

I’m a military brat. I spent my childhood shuttling back and forth between Texas and Germany every two to three years. This may sound interesting but in reality it was pretty painful.

Imagine growing up, and every three years everyone dies. Not your family, but everyone else. Your teachers, friends, pets. Poof. Gone. Kinda like puppets that get put away never to be seen again. The sets may come out again, but not the puppets. You’ll never see that cast of characters again. That’s how I grew up.

I spent second, third and fourth grades in Berlin. That’s where I left some of my earliest memories. We lived within a mile of the wall - the border that surrounded West Berlin.

The entire experience of Berlin from an American child’s perspective was filled with contradiction and questions. As an army brat I was spoon-fed propaganda along with the rest of the troops. I call it propaganda because even if it was originally nuanced and complex information, by the time you boil it down so that an eight-year-old can understand it, you have propaganda. The people in the east were the bad guys. We, the Americans, were in Berlin to protect the good people from the bad people.

Only that didn’t really make sense, even to an eight-year-old. The Berlin wall had guard towers on the east and observation decks on the west. Western tourists could climb the wooden stairs up a story or two to look over the wall and see the “bad guys” in the east and their armed guards in towers looking back at us.

I remember one Easter going to the wall. It was a pretty crowded day and the decks were crammed with folks. There was a man wearing the reddest shirt I’ve ever seen. You could have picked him out of the crowd from miles away. And that was exactly his purpose. My father started chatting the red-shirted guy up and learned his story.

The man, like so many other Berliners, had been working in West Berlin on the night of August 13, 1961, the night the wall went up. He simply couldn’t get back to his family. Now, nine years later, he was there to see them on Easter.

East Berlin was the bleakest vision I had ever seen. It was probably its proximity to West Berlin, by comparison, that made it seem even more dismal. Now, in hindsight, I realize that it was the lack of advertising. There was simply no advertising, no billboards, neon signs, banners. Just cobblestones and monotonous architecture. And it was always empty. I don’t know what that’s about. I don’t know if it’s faulty memory or what, but I do remember how remarkable it was to even see a car drive by in the distance.

But on this Easter morning, as our red-shirted German neighbor peered through binoculars, two women came down the street toward us pushing baby carriages. They were far away and I could see that they stopped, picked the babies up and held them up in the air. The red-shirted guy stared through the binoculars at them. My father learned that the women were his wife and daughter and the babies were his grandchildren. He had never seen them any other way. They held the squirming children up in the air until the man saw something move in the distance and signaled them. The women put the children in the carriages and they were gone. A moment later an East German police car drove by.

And those were the bad guys?

I know that’s a simplification of so many hard facts, but even an eight-year-old knows when something is fishy.

At night, in my bed, in the brand-new government issued apartment building we lived in, I could hear mines exploding. We lived within earshot of the wall. When I got scared and asked who was dying, my parents would tell me not to worry. It was only a rabbit or deer, not a human. Yeah, don’t worry. It was probably only Bambi or Thumper. No one important.

And then there was the whole issue of recognition. The united states government didn’t “recognize” the East German government. Didn’t recognize East Berlin? Well, I did! It was right over there!

So I was getting a good healthy dose of authority questioning at an early age. We’re the good people and they are the bad? The bad people don’t choose where they live, can’t choose their job, can’t quit their job, don’t choose their doctors. The bad people looked more like the sad people to me – and in the military, the same went for us. Daddy couldn’t quit his job. We didn’t get to choose where we lived. I never saw the same doctor twice growing up.

Then, after I finished reading my first whole book, Charlotte’s Web, I moved onto the next natural choice for a girl growing up in Germany. I read the diary of Anne frank. It would start me on a young obsession with the holocaust, trying to understand the good people and the bad. Only, I was living in Berlin in the 60's. Even at the age of nine I could do the math. I remember going out to the German community looking at the shop owners and the business men and thinking, hey, that man’s about the age of my grandfather, that means he was here 20 years ago, that means he was here when it happened and he was a grownup even back then. What did he do? Did he know? Did he try to stop it?

Later, when I was in high school, we lived close to Munich and the death camp, Dachau. When people came to visit from the states we would take them there. It was our own perverted Disney trip. “The tourists are coming, have to go to Dachau.” Only it wasn’t as easy to find as Disneyland. There weren’t a lot of signs that said “Dachau death camp! Next exit!” And when daddy would stop to ask for directions it was amazing how many Germans didn’t know. “Dachau? You’re in Dachau. What do you mean, ‘death camp’ I don’t understand.” Again, I would do the math. That lady must have been here then... she doesn’t know?

One thing that I did get from growing up in a divided city is a divided perspective. And for me that led to compassion for my “enemies.” When you have a wall running down the middle of your perspective, you tend to look on both sides. You tend to question. If I lived in a town called puppykillers and folks drove in from around the world to ask where the puppykillers were, where the puppykiller memorial is, implying that I might be a puppykiller myself, I might also play dumb as a way to cope.

But then again, honestly, I don’t think I could. Because of my divided perspective, I have compassion for the good Germans, but I don’t know that I can join them.

Our own country has been looking vaguely reminiscent lately. My mother, a military wife and daughter, a gung ho Texan-American who prides herself on never voting a straight party ticket but instead, weighing each candidate before pulling a lever, told me, after the Abu Graihb photos came out that even she is reminded of the good Germans. And when the question of building a wall between Mexico and the US comes up, she says she can’t believe she might live on the side of a wall with the guard towers. Neither of us can understand why folks are going along with this crap.

And as a people, we’ve had our own wall running through our nation for years now, and it sometimes seems like it’s getting more and more concrete.

The Berlin wall taught me to try to understand the other. I’m not always successful but I try. I’m no longer in the minority when I question the wars we’re waging but I’m still looking for common ground. I don’t think that the folks on the other side are bad guys. I don’t think we’re the good guys. I think we all just want to wake up tomorrow and feel better about things. It must be really painful to be on the side of the issues where you have to deny truths for the sake of loyalty and patriotism. For the folks who believed in leaders, both in the government and media, who led our country into war, it has to be painful to realize that those leaders were liars, cheats and bullies. I am not going to say I told you so, because I didn’t really want to be right. I know what it’s like to be disillusioned by my country, it hurts like a mofo.

Part of my journey to question the war took me to a new home along the way. Back in 2005 and 2006 I joined Cindy Sheehan and thousands of others in Crawford, Texas to ask the last president to bring the troops home. I wasn’t sure what to expect after years of protest marches and lefty politics, but I sure didn’t expect to find so many military folks. There were active duty troops from Fort Hood. There were wives and mothers and fathers and sons of GIs. There were vets and brats from all over the world.

I had forgotten what it was like to be in the company of so many traditional people. People who understand what it meant to be in “the service.” Who are prepared to give up some basic American rights for a greater good. And our greater good in Crawford was to question the civilian authorities who were in command of the troops. It’s still our job to speak out for them because they gave up that right when they volunteered to serve us. We gathered in Texas in the service of the troops. And it felt like home.

But, once again, it was a home that I can’t go back to. A place and time inhabited so briefly by a community that will never be the same again. We may gather again but now the community, like the troops, has changed. We’re dispersed far and wide. We’re tired, we’re getting disillusioned, we want peace but we are so weary from fighting for it, and we can’t believe that we have to ask this president to bring our troops home too.

So though I’ll forever be able to go back and visit a parcel of land, the set, the place where so many of us discovered common ground, the cast of characters will never be the same.

I miss the Berlin wall because it surrounded my childhood home. As an army brat you can return to your old neighborhood but none of the people will be there, just the buildings. I get emotionally attached to architecture, and a huge piece of architecture, the iron curtain, both literal and figurative, is gone. I can’t go home again. All I can do is try to make this home better.

01.20.09 Someone Turned Out the Lights (Bye Bye Bush)

2009-01-14T18:58:00.000-08:00

"Better a rebel than a hypocrite" -- r.i.p. beverly sills

2007-07-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

i clipped this out of some glamour or cosmo mag waaaay back sometime in the 80's and made about a zillion copies for my files (access to xerox machines was still a new thing then). i don't know much about beverly sills. i'm not even a big opera fan -- too loud! -- but i subscribe to her philosphy completely. i've come across this from time to time and wondered how influential it was in my formative years. you be the judge...

You Can Change Things

by Beverly Sills

I have been on the lecture circuit for the last five years, talking about the state of the arts. I speak about a half-hour and then open the floor to questions. In the last couple of years, I have noticed a reluctance to ask anything that might cause a difference of opinion or be a little troublesome. It stems, I think, not from apathy but from a kind of "I got mine, Charlie, so let's not stir up the animals" attitude. I am a parent of two young women who attended college in the sixties. We bear deep scars from that experience. While I disagreed with the methods of the students, I applauded their passions. Better a rebel than a hypocrite.

Today we don't lack causes, but a great many of us do lack a passion for those causes. For about ten days, I watched on television starving babies in Ethiopia with bulging eyes and bloated stomachs. I phoned a few of my friends and said, "We've got to get some money together." We decided we had to make a stab at it. Around the same time, the United Nations approved overwhelmingly, by a vote of 125 to 5 a $70 million convention center -- to be built in Ethiopia. The result was a whisper of an outrage and then silence.

When President Reagan went to Bitburg, a German woman appeared on television in Europe and said, "Why do Americans always do what the Jews want?" The International Herald Tribune quoted a German dignitary who said, "Things are always fine until the Jews show up." After this brief interlude on television and a small mention in the newspapers, the incident was over; it's apparently not worth the trouble to worry about the dormant cancer of anti-Semitism awakening again -- or, for that matter, the horrors of apartheid, or even the bombed-out Bronx, Harlem, and Roxbury ghettos that scream out the tragic inequities here in our own country.

Perhaps our discouragement is understandable; after 750,000 people peacefully marched through Central Park on behalf of a nuclear freeze, we were told by a high government official, whom mercifully I will not name, that such demonstrations have very little effect or influence on the Administration. So let me get to the point of my message.

First of all, we must stop referring to the government as "they." They is us. This is not a monarchy. Those people in Washington are there by our good graces. If we like what they are doing, we should keep them there, and if we don't we should get them out. We should let them know that we are watching them and that we know who they are. Therefore, we must know the names of our senators, congressmen, state senators, and councilmen -- all of them.

You may feel that one voice, when a thousand are needed to make things change, is not enough. But you are wrong. One articulate voice can attract a thousand more. Be that voice. You may feel that one vote is pointless when thousands are needed to make things happen. Use it and influence others. Be informed and inform others. Be educated and educate others. We are consumers and we can boycott the product.

Don't be angry, but be passionate. It is terribly important that you care about someone or something. If you are one of those who prefers being a spectator, fine -- nobody knows better than I that audiences are indispensable to performers. But if you are one of those people who like to get into the center of the ring and fight the bull in every sense of the word I suggest you do it -- because you can change the world.

beverly sills

hiatus

2007-05-23T23:50:00.000-07:00

i know i haven't written in a long time. i will be back.

i am trying to finish a script right now and it is taking much of my writing energy. in the meantime i welcome to all of those who are coming to this site from the American Overseas Schools Historical Society to read my contribution to The Wall Stories

until i'm able to blog regularly again i absolutely urge all of you to read this blog: Inside Iraq there you will find real iraqis telling us what the liberal or conservative or mainstream (or whatever incriminating word you want to use to describe our) media can't or won't tell us. things like this:

Please pull out your troops quickly. dont fix anything. Dont implement any project and dont forget to take your democracy because we dont want the democracy of blood shedding. Just leave. JUST DO IT
We are happy that we got rid of Saddam but we will never be happy to give away our country in return... Sorry if our flesh harmed your knives... is that what they want us to say. Is this what they came for?
Oh by the way before the troops leave they better do it right.. give the government 4 months to announce themselves as a transitional government to arrange the troops withdrawal, announce a draft among the Iraqi people to recruit young men in the Iraqi army so it will be national army not sectarian... and postpone the constitution amendments till the troops leave so the people will convince its a legitimate constitution and few things more... PLEASE dont let Bush plan for this, please... he will screw it...

LAPD, IRAQ, PTSD

2007-05-06T19:39:00.000-07:00

there are now four different investigations into the police brutality against immigrants and media on May 1 in MacArthur Park in Los Angeles. 60 officers have been removed from "the streets."

will someone please find out how many of those officers mowing down civilians with their weapons blazing are returning Iraq vets?

i support our troops. i want them home and alive and healthy. and i want the killing/torture/abuse of innocents to stop, no matter where they were born or what color their skin. but i know from talking to cops at various protests that some of them have served and do serve in the guard and the reserve. the LAPD is proud of the way it treats its guardsmen and reservists. check this out: The Department of Defense honors the Los Angeles Police Departmentfor its support of employees serving in the National Guard and Reserve

and as lefty as i am, i have found it difficult in the past to say that we support the troops and then see folks at our demonstrations treat the cops poorly. they are both serving society in a way they see fit.

however, in light of recent polls that show that military members believe in torture --- a result, i believe is of being underprepared, underarmed and then trained by rumsfeld and now negroponte --- what can we expect?

we can expect our guard and our reserves to be broken. and our police forces. this criminal administration is breaking the very infrastructure of our country.

the only thing i have ever seen trickle down is corruption.

guns! guns! guns!

2007-04-18T01:05:00.000-07:00

looky looky! you can buy the very same gun the school shooter used at the very same gun shop for the very same sale price! going fast! get your guns now!

they have a special running for 30% off selected items. maybe they should change that to 33% in memory of the dead? more guns for everybody!

remember, when you have a gun and they have a gun that makes no gun, right?

TGIGF?

2007-04-06T05:48:00.000-07:00

apoplectic apocalyptic ellipses...

2007-03-25T02:00:00.001-07:00

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Debris that may have contained bits of bone from victims of the World Trade Center attacks was used to fill potholes and pave city roads, according to court papers filed on Friday.

The charge was made in an affidavit filed in Manhattan federal court in an ongoing case filed in 2005 by family members of those killed in the attacks against the city. They say the city did not do enough to search for remains, denying victims a proper burial.

Eric Beck, a construction worker employed at the Fresh Kills landfill in the borough of Staten Island, where the rubble was taken after the Twin Towers fell, said in his affidavit that the process of sifting through the debris was rushed.

Beck said he saw sanitation workers removing small pieces of debris containing possible bone fragments and loading them "onto tractors, and using it to pave roads and fill in potholes, dips and ruts."

The remains of about 40 percent of the victims were never recovered, and hundreds of bone fragments have been discovered in and around Ground Zero in the last six months, the lawsuit says.

2,976 died on 9/11. 3,236 have died in Iraq as of right now. (that's not counting the 650,000+ Iraqis)

"We have to honor the sacrifices of the fallen by completing the mission [so] the families of the fallen can be assured that they died for a noble cause." - George WWIII Bush

Soylent Green is People!

art and protest

2007-03-23T11:36:00.000-07:00

Update: there are some reviews surfacing. i'll post what i find.

LAist

elective surgery

2007-03-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

a couple of years ago i met a swell gal who wrote a sweet little play and found a nice little barn and a great gaggle of friends to play with. i was kinda new to town and couldn't think of a better thing to do.

and then i showed up at the first rehearsal.

it was then that i found out that the nice little barn she found came with a dickwad of a director who didn't know his ass from his elbow.

it didn't help that the director was fluffing some d-list, talent-free ex-childstar who was paying for some marvelous marketing and providing her own fabulous wardrobe (that stood out quite a bit from the rest of the charming and ragtag cast)

all of a sudden i could think of something better to do.

surgery!

see, i had this hernia that the doctor said someday i might want to get looked at. it wasn't really a big deal, but you never know... and my insurance was running out in a couple of months...

and most of all, i believe when it comes to doing art for no money you either enjoy yourself or quit. you sure as hell don't stay and make everybody else miserable you fuck! which is actually a position i hold about lots of things in life which is why i'm so fucking depressed about this war and our country and where george wwIII has gotten us... but i digress...

check this out: (emphasis mine out of a sense of memory and identity)

WASHINGTON (AP) - Presidential spokesman Tony Snow is undergoing surgery Monday to remove a growth in his lower abdomen, a procedure he said was being done "out of an aggressive sense of caution because he had colon cancer two years ago.
He said Friday that tests since the growth was discovered have been negative, but that doctors decided to remove it to be sure.
"Please do not leap to conclusions about this because we don't know what this is," Snow told reporters. "We know it's coming out and I know I'll be back soon."
Snow had his colon removed in 2005 and underwent six months of chemotherapy after being diagnosed with colon cancer.
He said that a recent series of scans revealed the growth. Blood tests and further scans have not indicated a return of his cancer.
Snow joked about Monday's procedure, saying he would "come back here a little lighter" than before. He said he would be away from the White House for several weeks for recovery.
"Out of an aggressive sense of caution I'm going to go in for surgery," he said.
Deputy press secretary Dana Perino will assume Snow's duties in his absence.
The news came a day after Elizabeth Edwards, wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, announced that her breast cancer has returned in an incurable, but treatable, form. Her husband's campaign will go forward.
"The biggest problem you have sometimes with cancer is flat-out fear," Snow said. "When you see an Elizabeth Edwards saying, `I'm going to embrace life and I'm going to move forward,' that is a wonderful thing."

apoplectic apocalyptic ellipses...

2007-03-23T01:13:00.000-07:00

...the problem with the desertion numbers arises when the service cannot find enough recruits to fill certain crucial specialties like medical experts and bomb defusers Mr. Stewart said, “In the context of their current recruiting problems for certain occupations, these desertion numbers are huge...”

Why I Haven't Been Blogging

2007-03-23T00:05:00.000-07:00

it's not like i haven't been thinking about it, i have. but i'm afraid that if i write down my thoughts i might just spread my despair around and make the world even gloomier.

so i think i'm going to start a new blog shortcut. from now on, when i read something that just sends me deeper into thoughts of self immolation and/or resigned maniacal laughter i'll just post it with no comment as such. i truly am exhausted and saddened beyond expression at where our country has ended up. i want to be hopeful i just can't muster it yet.

and then there's the radio. yeah, i listen more than i should. but i spend a good portion of my day doing mindless work and keeping up with the world thru the radio makes the chores go faster. or used to.

lately, our local "progressive" station decided to go "mainstream" with a faux liberal named marc germain, or "mr. k." this guy brings up such pressing progressive topics as the phil spector trial and dismissing the pet food recall instead of local activism like harrison on the edge, the local talkhost he replaced.

the only encouraging thing to note about his show is that since i have KTLK programmed into my cellphone already i've been annoyed enough to call in a couple of times in the past week. man, it is no trouble to get right through. his screener, bill, is a nice guy. but there is absolutely no waiting.

i don't usually try to get on the air. i actually ask bill to pass on info -- like when i called twice last week and asked if KTLK was so proud of being "live and local" in drive time, why they weren't promoting the upcoming peace rally on the 17th instead of discussing the merits of green beer and spending an hour plugging a lawyer who prides himself on springing drunk drivers (really). bill said he would do his best and he agreed it was a good idea. i followed up with a detailed email to KTLK.

but mr K. never talked about the peace rally. wait. scratch that. he did talk about it on monday when he mocked it and all the participants... but i digress... i'll post some audio later and let y'all judge for yourself.

the reality is this. it's easy to get through to the asshole because nobody's calling in. i sent him an email today and told him (and the station and the sales manager at the station) that they should change their slogan to "3-7pm: a great time to listen to npr" or kpfk for that matter... i think it's about time for some donations without a pledge drive. and it's also time to call ktlk's advertisers and tell them they might want to sponsor one of those public stations...

it's just too depressing to have to deal with this shit anymore...

Update: i don't get many hits these days, since i've been in hibernation. but the few i do are searching for "Mr. K and KTLK" (ego surf much marc?) just in case you still want to defend the loser, here's a pic of the big ass. Mr. K loves Bill O'Reilly.

Harrison on the Edge

2007-03-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

so ktlk has done it again. they've fired harrison of "harrison on the edge" and replaced him with the former "mr. kabc." the whole line up is screwed. they've moved rachel maddow to 10pm(!) and killed off the young turks. the only thing worse they could have done is give johnny wendall a spot!

let ktlk know that we need harrison back at feedback@progressivetalk1150.com AND here. he is the only local activist host. he's the ONLY host on AAR who does any decent cross promoting and he is a gracious, all around decent human being.

and if you've never listened to harrison, check out the clip below. it's radio so there ain't no pictures, but it's a great example of how harrison works with his listeners and the community to promote activism. the interview is about the hows and whys of going to camp casey and the info is still pertainent. in fact, you are invited to join folks there for easter. won't you please come to camp casey? no one else can take your place.

harrison on the edge interview part one

harrison on the edge interview part two

jesse says it's all right

2007-02-26T18:27:00.000-08:00

jesse dyen

JOIN US TODAY!

2007-02-23T01:06:00.000-08:00

according to congressman waxman's staff (and they are cooooool), the congressman is "moving in the direction" of defunding the war...

please, come and join us today. we need to let him know how serious we are. and we need him to know that as thankful as we are for all his lefty good deeds, nothing is as important as ending this war NOW.

and, we need him to know that if any of the chickenhawks come after him for not supporting the troops, we'll have his back.

check out what happened today at STOP FUNDING BUSH'S WAR and get all the info you need to JOIN US TODAY!

would this work?

2007-02-23T00:54:00.000-08:00

way back when, in the olden times, before the big war, there was actually a plan for peace. it was a plan called "PREEMPTIVE DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ : AN ALTERNATIVE TO PREEMPTIVE WAR" the plan reminded us that the much desired regime change in iraq could not be facilitated by the UN since the UN does not have a mandate for democracy over other forms of government. however, if the citizens of iraq were to gather from in and outside of their country in the kurdish territories under the protection of the no-fly zone and convene a constitutional congress, they could declare themselves the new, sovereign united states of iraq and then, if needed, request help from the UN to protect themselves from and/or defeat saddam.

but bush wanted war and here we are.

lately, i've been ruminating on that plan.

couldn't the new, haphazardly formed sovereign government of iraq still request help from the UN? only this time they would ask for help in removing the occupying force that is us.

i know it's not much of a consolation -- over the idea of preemptive peace and all -- but it just might get our troops the hell out of there and start war crimes hearings on bush and cheney at the same time. not to mention, abort the coming war with iran...

just a thought. but i'm just an artist. i only have creativity and imagination. certainly, our leaders must have more vision that me...

copy cat or coincidence?

2007-02-15T16:58:00.000-08:00

so yesterdee was not only valentime's day for the rest of ye, but it was the 7th anniversary of my nuptials to dutchman and the 13th anniversary of our first date and the first time we did the hokey pokey in mexico.

dutchman, it's been a 'swonderful ride. truly. lately, i've been constantly musing on what a catch you are. and though we didn't need much of a relationship summit this year (goodness, there isn't time with the production meetings, the political actions, the research and development and then there's all the cats...!) i did finally get the gift i've been pining for for the past decade at least..

for anybody who's passin' by, our regular gift-giving mo is this: if d tries to get me anything i'll know because i do all the banking and i'll see it in the transactions. i'm also really tight with the funds. we don't spend money frivolously but instead save for the production tools and political actions, etc.... so if he even dared to try to buy me a blood diamond or some expensive something that would send some cheap something i already have into the landfills i would scream bloody murder! plus, we have so much. we have each other.

so, usually the thing i get for my birthdee or christmas is this -- i get to complain that i didn't get anything! yeah, it's a paradox. i like that. it's fun. and it's tricky and he just grins and bears it and shows me how much he loves me...

but the one thing that i don't' have and have never had and have neeeeeeeded and asked for forever is...

a gavel!

yep. i neeeeed a gavel. why? so when there's an argument i can finish it! so when there's a case that's open, i can close it!

case closed! gavel, gavel! (is that the onomatopoetry a gavel would make if a gavel made onomatopoetry?)

and on the same day that dutchman was scouring the web for my cherished love gift, it seems our very own democratic valentine was launching her own blog, The Gavel. do you think it was one of those hundredth monkey things or is it just time for women to wield hammers of justice once and for all?

i say all of the above.

case closed!

TAKE ACTION NOW - Help Stop The War!

2007-02-13T14:34:00.000-08:00

Stop Funding Bush's War

i'm proud the dixie chicks are from texas

2007-02-12T00:36:00.000-08:00

i don't usually go in for the awards show thing much, but the grammys were great.

congrats dixie chicks! it's so fantastic to see y'all get the last word -- and not in a creepy, i-told-you-so kind of way, but as a reflection of the way the tide has turned and the country seems to be coming to its senses.

i am absolutely dying to see "shut up and sing" but i was pretty sure i wouldn't be able to see it in a movie theatre since i would either scream at the screen the entire time or spontaneously combust from trying to hold my tongue. and after tonight's cheering at the tube, i know i was right to wait. but it's not out on dvd until tuesday the 20th so i'm still in tortuous anticipation.

i have someone very close to me whom i would really like to ask about the dc's journey. someone who is greatly distressed by the war and our president but who was also outraged at the chicks and sent me that pic of them photoshopped with saddam hussein. i really would like to ask her if her opinion has changed but i don't want it to seem like i'm rubbing her nose in something. i'm sincerely not. i've said it many times, i wish i had been wrong about my suspicions of this administration and predictions about this war. and i have great compassion for those who were wrong and wronged. it's time for all of us to make nice and start digging ourselves out of this shit.

2007-02-04T14:25:00.000-08:00

united for piss and vinegar

2007-02-03T10:38:00.000-08:00

so, last week when we were getting ready to go to dc to protest the war, i repeatedly went to the united for peace and justice website to get updates on schedules and actions and such. sometimes i would accidentally type in ufpj.org into my browser and when i did i ended up at this snerky little site www.peas.org :

"united for peas and justice" hahahahaha

so, after doing this a couple of times and getting more annoyed, i sent them an email:

From: Cassandra Complex [mailto:complexcassandra@gmail.com]

Sent: 19 January 2007 00:11

To: mailbox@peas.org

Subject: united for peas and war?

y'all look kinda dickish to me. don't get me wrong, i like peas and all, but why would you commandeer the ufpj site name and then not even give an opportunity to redirect on your homepage. check out amoeba.com. they redirect you to amoebarecords and it gives you all warm fuzzyfeelings about them as human beings. [i've recently rechecked the amoeba sites. it looks like the original amoeba folks gave up their original domain name - now you end up at amoebarecords right away] but y'all look like you hogged a domain name, thought you'd be cute by making it about "peas and justice" and then ... what? maybe you're not really for peace and justice? maybe you're all prowar? think about it...

and this is the response i got from the peaslovers:

From : Tim Mudge
Sent : Friday, January 19, 2007 12:38 AM
To : "Cassandra Complex"

Subject :
RE: united for peas and war?

You should really get out more.
All we want to do is get people to eat more peas.
Now run along and play and make sure you play nicely

so i guess my initial instinct that told me these folks were dicks was right. i wrote mr. mudge back and told him that i got out just fine. just got back from the dc protests which is more than his little snerky self seems to be doing.

i don't think i like peas so much anymore...

UPDATE: the peaslovers have taken their "united for peas and justice" logo off the site. it's a good start. now a little link to redirect on the peas.org site to the largest peace org in america might be the next step... or just give the domain name to ufpj. no one's looking for peas there anyway...

whatcha doing saturday night?

2007-02-03T09:48:00.000-08:00

photos and video from saturday's march in DC

2007-01-29T21:02:00.000-08:00

We head back to la tomorrow- been very busy- here are some pictures for the march last saturday:

(www.tri-be.org)

Later that night we met at the Viet Nam War Memorial to pay our respects. I remember visiting as a child and thinking that at least our country learned a lesson in that war... alas, alas... this "award" was leaning against the wall:

And we walked up to the Lincoln and this inscription of the Gettysburg Address reminded me why I came 3,000 miles- yes, Lincoln was talking about the sacrifices of the Union dead, but as a citizen, and in these times of our Signing Statement Dictator, I felt that I came to stand and march and witness so that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth... the biggest thing I'm taking from this trip, from the march to the lobbying (more on that in another post) is that the people and only the people will end this war

you already know how this will end

2007-01-22T22:18:00.000-08:00

Naked Trucker Said To Do It So I Did

2007-01-18T18:08:00.000-08:00

give blood that is...

the new wounded-agressive

2007-01-13T23:09:00.000-08:00

remember when the repugnicunts coined the term victimocracy? here's a quick google on it: victimocracy. take a look. i'll wait...

they thought that it was unfaaaair for the widows of the 9/11 firefighters to question the government for not following the recommendations of the 9/11 committee. the republican widows questioned the republican administration for not following the recommendations of the bipartisan 9/11 commission. they said it was unfaaaaaair to use victims of such a tragedy to play politics. i don't know who was "using" these victims. and i don't know why they thought it was "playing" politics to question policies. (politic=policy=polity -- look it up)

they also thought it was unfaaaaaaair (waaaaaaaaa!) for cindy sheehan to question bush about why her son died. "what noble cause?" she asks. they've called her every name in the book for that act.

and now, it looks like they've decided that it's too hard to continually kick victims when they're down so now they're going to be the victims:

the latest victim of the mean nasty majority is condi. apparently barbara boxer personally slighted her and all vagino-americans in the history of gynokind when she said that neither of them had children at risk right now, so neither of them could possibly imagine what was being asked of the families in this country. i understand this. i've said it myself so many times i can't count. my friend cindy calls it "having skin in the game" to have a family member serving. i can't even dehumanize it that much. it is unfathomable to me to imagine what it would be like to live each day wondering if it could be his last. to actually lose him would kill me.

so boo - fucking - hoo condi. boo-fucking-hoo.

and as far as bush's tears, which came conveniently after he realized he had some 'splainin to do to the nation's new congress and was spanked in the polls after his lame ass surge speech this week -- give me a fkn break! it looks to me like crying is the first fucking exit strategy he's actually every planned. and it looks like one he's actually prepared and used in the past -- but only with his daddy. from what poppy says, i don't think it would have worked on barb much -- so now it's waaaaaaa! i fucked up. but you can't be mean to me now because everybody hates me and that wouldn't be faaaaaair!

and just in case ya think i'm being too hard on the bastard, check this out. on sunday's 60 minutes we'll learn this "The execution of Saddam was mishandled, says the president, who saw only parts of it on the Internet because he didn't want to watch the dictator fall through the trap door." the mother fucker sends young men half way around the world, puts them in untenable situations, forcing them to "defend" themselves, resulting in the deaths of innocent men, women and children -- memories they will live with the rest of their lives, memories they will have to grapple with alone if he continues to destroy health care, our economy and the VA -- and yet, he doesn't want to watch the boogeyman fall through the trap door. he's a coward, a chicken, a spoiled child, and an asshole.

and half of us elected him.

big whiney baby who's taking us down with him.
waaaaaaaaaaa!

i invite you to join me in washington two weeks from now.

2007-01-12T19:01:00.000-08:00

i heard a wise man once explain, "when you ask me why i don't come to church, i can come up with all kinds of reasons. if you invite me, i just might come."

you are invited to join us. if you've never marched for peace, this is a great introduction. what better place and time? and i'll be your personal guide. i'll show you the ropes and guarantee your personal safety and comfort. and i promis you won't get arrested -- unless you want to, and if you do, i'll hook you up with folks who know how to do that better than i do.

just email me and say the word and we can work out the details...

and if you need another reason, listen to this army sergeant serving his second tour of duty in iraq right now when he says, "I'm scared out of my mind right now."

it is our responsibility to represent those in uniform who signed on the dotted line and gave up their rights to free speech. it is our duty to exercise free speech for those who died to protect it. you are invited to join us for a little exercise saturday, january 27th. please, be my guest.

bush sorry? wow... hold the presses!

2007-01-10T16:03:00.000-08:00

breaking news! bush says he's made a mistake...

guess we can all give him a break now..

i'm not buying it.

in fact it reminds me of another dictator who liked to play cat and mouse when he knew he was bluffing. that guy was saddam hussein. i remember when bush was breathing down his neck forcing him to prove a negative - that he didn't have wmd (after the weapons inspectors had already said as much) - and he would say he did and then he didn't and then he did... and i remember thinking "of course they guy's not going to admit the truth, he's bluffing because he's surrounded by enemies we helped him make!"

and each time it would just get junior all riled up - which is how he apparently likes it - and give him another excuse to march to war.

and now junior is playing the same game with our congress. now that he's backed into a corner he's going to be contrite for about a minute and see if he can blow some smoke up some asses long enough to put us into yet another untenable position.

it's all an act. he's an asshole. he's always been an asshole. he's also a dictator.

he took us into this war on the pretext of protecting us from some other boogeyman dictator who spied on his own people, sent his own young into an endless war, imprisoned citizens without trial and condoned torture. and now he's doing the same fucking thing.

and our young, noble, brave, patriotic men and women are dying for his bullshit crusade.

and i and you are letting this happen.

idiocracy

2007-01-08T17:49:00.000-08:00

so it's the eve of the eve of the president's new way forward/benchmarks speech (also known as stay the course/timeline speech) and i'm not feeling particularly charitable.

you know, cassandra is the ultimate i-told-you-so-er. i hate it when even the libs talk about how fkn united we all were after 9/11 when the president gave his speech to the nation, how we all trusted him to do the right thing. i wasn't and i didn't. i remember it very clearly. we had driven across country from nyc to texas to be with a dying relative (since all the planes were grounded) and i was driving from home to hospital to relieve my mother for the nightshift of our round the clock bedside vigil and i was barely able to listen to the moron in chief on the radio because i was basically hyperventilating in fear and trying to keep the car on the road.

we had been in new york city a few days earlier when the towers fell and i never felt such a profound sadness. i think the entire city was not only mourning the loss of loved ones but praying that they would not be sacrificed to the gods of war and violence.

even the idea of going to afghanistan was unacceptable to me. not led by this administration. they were never to be trusted.

why couldn't the rest of the country see what a fucking moron he was?

and when all the information started coming out about the lies and the sexing up of the intelligence i just kept asking myself how i knew they were lies and others didn't. i'm just a fkn actor, for zeus' sake. all i do is pay attention. and by all means, i wish if was fkn wrong! i wish i was the idiot. it would make life a lot simpler.

but instead, i was right. you can't force democracy. you can't get peace through violence. you can't get support through threats. duh. fkng duh.

which brings me to a great flick we saw last night. idiocracy. an average guy ends up being the smartest guy on earth. it's kinda irritating and lonely to be surrounded by fools -- and for a movie, it's kinda funny. i personally think it's terrifying and real, but what the hell, let's laugh at the fiction. we probably won't survive long enough for it to become reality anyway

rent idiocracy now. it's awesome.

what else you got going on that weekend?

2007-01-05T23:22:00.000-08:00

and now for something completely different...

2007-01-05T21:39:00.000-08:00

it was the early days of the internets... well it was for me. give me a break! we didn't enter the nineties until 2003 when we finally left dial up in the dust... we still use aol for zeus' sake and we all know it's the bridge and tunnel of the world wide web..

but it was my first web-blog. or webblog or weblog or ...

and it was fancy, just like this one...

and of course, it had a cause!

enjoy:

poop

2007-01-04T17:34:00.000-08:00

Bruce Springsteen - Millworker

This is a fantastic performance... enjoy!

peace on earth

2007-01-01T22:18:00.000-08:00

MGM Cartoon 1939 Peace On Earth
Uploaded by shawshawshaw

i heard you malachi

2006-11-28T15:40:00.000-08:00

on november 3rd malachi ritscher committed self immolation in chicago to protest the iraq war.

we're only now hearing about it.

finally the word is getting out and it needs to.

the funny thing is, in october i told dutchman that if we lost the midterms i might just do the same out there in the middle of sunset and la brea. of course, i'm a big chicken, and most of all, i couldn't do that to dutchman or my family, but it isn't the first time that i've grappled with the intense helplessness that i feel in the face of the brutality done in my name.

one of the most interesting things that i'm finding, now that word is finally gettting out about malachi, is the debate about whether a sane person would do such a thing.

my question is, how does a sane person not resort to acts of desperation to be heard when our leaders are insane?

it all boils down to that bumpersticker about if you're not angry you're not paying attention, yada yada yada.. but really, there is a truth here that must be paid attention.

when i was nineteen i was hospitalized briefly for depression. it runs very deeply in my family and luckily i broke the pattern at an early age before i was imprisoned by bad choices. during the hospitalization i attended my first (and last) group therapy sessions. there was one man there who monopolized the sessions by telling everyone else what their problems were and droning on and on about himself. he was discharged shortly after i arrived and i was glad to see him go. but a week later he was back. after a few days of uncharacteristic silence he finally told his story. he tearfully explained how he had simply taken his car into the dealership for an easy repair. he had been given a typical runaround that had spiralled into what he described as a sadistic mockery. it apparently went on for hours and then days until he ended up back in the loony bin with the rest of us. sounds like the paranoid ramblings of a lunatic, right?

the thing is, my mother happened to work at that dealership. she came home regularly with horrific stories about what assholes the guys in repairs were, how they liked playing games with the customers and driving them nuts. she hated them.

just because my compatriot was sensitive doesn't mean he was wrong.

and i witnessed plenty of other cuckoo's nest's moments with patients challenging the staff (many of whom came from the local baptist seminary) that ended with the staff losing in the battle of wits and winning only by pulling rank. sometimes the staff would start stuff. it was almost as if they needed to rile the crazies to prove to themselves that they were the sane ones...

i started to get the impression that we were only locked up for our own good... to protect us, the sensitive, from the "sane" people.

malachi was an artist. as i've said before, it's the artist's job to be sensitive. we are the canaries in the coal mine. we are the visionaries who dream of a better future and show the landlocked leaders how to get there...

after 9/11 when we decided to move back to LA from NYC because we thought we were going to die -- and we wanted to die somewhere green and surrounded by friends -- we told one of our family members. she, being republican and of the "shopping is patriotic" ilk, said, "you can't let this effect you." i'm still shocked by that... 9/11, "this," "you can't let this effect you."

well, we did. we let 9/11 effect us. it's our job to let it effect us. it's my job to be sensitive. it's what drove me to join cindy sheehan in crawford and it's what drives me to teach and it's what allows me to express compassion for people i don't even like...

malachi, we heard you. we're sorry that you had to go to such extremes to be heard. if you can hear us, know that some of us are still here, working very hard to right these wrongs you died for.

how the hell to contact nancy pelosi

2006-11-14T17:32:00.000-08:00

so's i'm listening to all this crap about murtha and hastings and how they have the stank of corruption hanging all over their down lows and i get all fired up and ready to send my feelings to nancy pelosi, future speaker of the house and proponent of the Honest Leadership and Open Government Act so's i do a google on her and the first link takes me to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, California, 8th District where there's a nifty little place to send her an email. so's i write to her:
PLEASE don't make ethics mistakes! PLEASE! you have given me faith in my country again, don't let me down... murtha and hastings have the appearance of corruption -- whether it's proven or not (and it looks pretty solid to me) you cannot say we will be honest and then have this appearance. we must be above reproach. do the right thing, PLEASE

and then i hit me some "sends" and i get the cheesy little message that tells me that since i don't live in san francisco, my email won't get to her (thanks for telling me that after i sent the damn thing) and sends me to this link for the democratic leader. only this fkng page doesn't have any way to contact nancy.

hey webmaster - you're a dick!

now i'm good and worked up so i gets me some phone numbers and i start making the calls and i tell them what losers i think they are and what a great start we're off to if the speaker's only interested in speaking and not listening. her home office gave me this email address americanvoices@mail.house.gov which ain't nowhere on any of the sites. and the local office told me they were only interested in passing along any messages that have to do with local issues, not national ones.

hey phone answerer - you're a dick too!

now send her an email and tell her what you think.

yep, we have more work to do... the gloatboat has landed it's time to roll up our sleeves and keep an eye on the pols!

Government Issue

2006-11-12T01:36:00.000-08:00

saturday night i was honored to participate in Lit Up at St. Michael's church in the valley. it's a monthly event where folks from theatre, comedy, music et. al. come together and share some musings on a theme. the proceeds went to the Evan Ashcraft Memorial Foundation. this month's theme was "government issue" and i had a few folks ask if they could read it so i'm posting it below. it contains themes and stories that i've touched on before in this blog and it's long so i'm not sure i'll leave it up forever, so enjoy:

I miss the Berlin wall. I know that’s not a particularly PC thing to say and if given the opportunity I certainly wouldn’t advocate building it again – or building our own facsimile on our southern border for that matter – but I don’t think I’ll ever choose to return to the now reunited city of Berlin.

See, I’m a military brat. I am government issue. I was issued forth in an army base hospital in Bremerhaven, Germany to my father, who was then in the Air Force and to my mother who was an army brat who had met him a year earlier on that same base.

I spent the rest of my childhood shuttling back and forth between Texas and Germany every two to three years. In retrospect this sounds a little interesting but in reality it was pretty painful.

Imagine growing up, and every two or three years everyone dies. Not your family, but everyone else. Your teachers, your best friends, your pets. Poof. Gone. Kinda like puppets that get folded up and put away never to be seen again. Well, not exactly, the sets may come out but not the puppets. You can go back and visit a town you grew up in but none of the people you grew up with will be there, they’ve been stationed somewhere else. You’ll never see that cast of characters again. And now, as an adult and a civilian you can’t even get back on the base to see your old house or the pool where you spent all your summers. Nothing to go back to. That’s how I grew up.

I spent second, third and fourth grades in Berlin. That’s where I left some of my earliest memories. We lived within a mile of the wall. Or the border that surrounded West Berlin. It wasn’t always a wall. There were places where apartment buildings that sat on the border had balconies that hung over into the east. Those balconies had been simply crammed with barbed wire so that no one could escape out the back – as if someone was going to risk their lives jumping off a balcony to "escape" into East Germany.

The entire experience of Berlin from an American child’s perspective was filled with contradiction and questions. As an army brat I was spoon-fed propaganda along with the rest of the troops. And I call it propaganda because even if it was originally nuanced and complex information, by the time you boil it down so that an eight-year-old can understand it, you have propaganda. The people in the east were the bad guys. We, the Americans, were in Berlin to protect the good Germans from the bad Germans.

Only that didn’t really make sense, even to an eight-year-old. The Berlin wall had guard towers on the east and observation decks on the west. Western tourists could climb the wooden stairs up a story or two to look over the wall and see the "bad guys" in the east and their armed guards in towers looking back at us.

I remember one Easter when we went to the wall – don’t ask me why we spent Easter there, my family doesn’t really do holidays. But it was a pretty crowded day and the decks were crammed with folks. There was one man that was wearing the reddest of red shirts I’ve ever seen. In my memory it’s like the scene in Shindler’s List where everything else is gray and bleak and there’s one bright spot of color that you can’t not follow with your eyes. You could have picked him out of the crowd from miles away. And that was exactly his purpose. My father, whose job as a Russian linguist was to spy on Russian radio transmissions in East Germany, could also speak a little German. He started chatting the red-shirted guy up and learned his story.

The man, like so many other Berliners, had been working in West Berlin on the night of August 13, 1961, the night the wall went up. He simply couldn’t get back to his family. Now, nine years later, he was there to see them on Easter.

East Berlin was the bleakest vision I had ever seen. It was probably its proximity to West Berlin, by comparison, that made it seem even more dismal. Now, in hindsight, I realize that it was the lack of advertising. There was simply no advertising, no billboards, neon signs, banners. Just cobblestones and monotonous architecture. But the east side was always empty. I don’t know what that’s about. I don’t know if it’s faulty memory or what, but I do remember how remarkable it was to even see a car drive by in the distance.

But on this Easter morning, as our redshirted German neighbor peered through big binoculars, two women on the east side came down the street toward us pushing baby carriages. They were far away and I could see that they stopped, picked the babies up and held them up in the air. The redshirted guy stared through the binoculars at them. My father had learned that the women were his wife and his daughter and the babies were his grandchildren. He had never seen them any other way. They held the squirming children up in the air and then the man saw something move in the distance and he signaled them. The women put the children in the carriages and they were gone. A moment later an East German police car drove by.

And those were the bad guys?

I know that’s a simplification of so many hard facts, but even an eight-year-old knows when something is fishy.

At night, in my bed, in the brand-new government issued apartment building we lived in, I could hear mines exploding. We lived within earshot of the wall. When I got scared and asked who was dying, my parents would tell me not to worry that it was probably only a rabbit or deer, not a human. Yeah, don’t worry. It was probably only Bambi or Thumper. No one important.

And then there was the whole issue of recognition. The united states government didn’t "recognize" the East German government. Didn’t recognize East Berlin? Well, I did! It was right over there!

So I was getting a good healthy dose of authority questioning at an early age. We’re the good people and they are the bad? The bad people don’t get to choose where they live, they can’t choose their job, they can’t quit their job, they don’t get to choose their doctors. The bad people were looking more and more like the sad people to me – and if you know anything about the military, you know that the same went for us. Daddy couldn’t quit his job. We didn’t get to choose where we lived. I never saw the same doctor twice growing up. – hell, I still don’t get to see the same doctor twice now, with my health insurance, or lack of, changing every few months.

And then, after I finished reading my first whole book, Charlotte’s Web, I moved onto the next natural choice for a girl growing up in Germany. I read the diary of Anne frank. It would start me off on a young obsession with the holocaust. Trying to understand the good people and the bad. Only, I was living in Berlin in the 60's. Even at the age of nine I could do the math. I remember when we would go out to the German community looking at the shop owners and the business men and thinking, hey, that guy’s about the age of my grandfather, that means he was here 20 years ago, that means he was here when it happened and he was a grownup even back then. What did he do? Did he know? Why didn’t he try to stop it?

Later, when I was in high school, we lived in Augsburg, Germany, close to Munich and close to the death camp, Dachau. When people would come to visit us from the states we would take them there. It was kind of our own perverted Disney trip. The tourists are coming, have to go to Dachau. Only it wasn’t as easy to find as Disneyland. There weren’t a lot of signs that said Dachau death camp! Next exit! And when daddy would stop to ask for directions it was amazing how many Germans didn’t know. "Dachau? You’re in Dachau. What do you mean, ‘death camp’ I don’t understand." Again, I would do the math. That guy looks about 45, he must have been here then... He doesn’t know?

One thing that I did get from growing up in a divided city is a divided perspective. And for me that led to compassion for my "enemies." When you have a wall running down the middle of your perspective, you tend to look on both sides. You tend to question. If I lived in a town called puppy killers and folks drove in from all around the world to ask where the puppy killers were, where the puppy killer factory memorial is, implying that I might be a puppy killer myself, I might also play dumb as a way to cope.

But then again, honestly, I don’t think I would. Because of my divided perspective, I can have compassion for the good Germans, but I don’t know that I can join them. Our own country has been looking vaguely reminiscent lately. My own mother, a military wife and daughter, a gung ho Texan American who prides herself on never voting a straight party ticket but instead, weighing each candidate before pulling a lever, told me, after the Abu Graihb photos came out that even she is reminded of the good Germans. And when the question of building a wall between Mexico and the US came up, she said she can’t believe she might live on the side of a wall with the guard towers. Neither of us could understand why folks were going along with this crap. As a people, we’ve had our own wall running through our nation for years now, and it seemed like it was getting more and more concrete until just four days ago.

The Berlin wall taught me to try to understand the other. And that is something I still try to nourish. I’m not always successful but I try. Now that our country is reuniting, I’m looking for common ground. I don’t think that the folks on the other side were bad guys. I don’t think we’re the good guys. I think we all just want to wake up tomorrow and feel better about things. It must have been really painful to be on the side of the issues where you had to deny truth for the sake of loyalty and patriotism. For the folks who believed in their leaders, both in the government and the media, it has to be painful to admit that those leaders were liars and cheats and bullies. I am not going to say I told you so, because I didn’t really want to be right. I know what it’s like to be disillusioned by my country, it hurts like a mofo.

And part of my journey to question the war authorities in the past years took me to a new home. I joined Cindy Sheehan and thousands of others last year in Crawford Texas to protest the president. I wasn’t sure what to expect after years of protest marches and leftist politics, but I sure didn’t expect to find so many military folks. There were Gi s and wives and mothers and fathers and sons of GI s. There were vets and brats. I had forgotten what it was like to be in the company of so many traditional people. People who understood what it meant to be in "the service." Who are prepared to give up some basic American rights for a greater good. And our greater good in Crawford was to question the civilian authorities who were in command of the Gis. It’s our job to speak out for them because they gave up that right when they volunteered to serve us. We gathered in Crawford in the service of the GI. And it felt like home.

And, of course, once again, it’s a home that I can’t go back to. A place and time inhabited so briefly by a community that will never be the same again. I’ll forever be able to go back and visit a parcel of land, the set, but the cast of characters will never be the same.

I miss the Berlin wall because it surrounded my childhood home. As an army brat you can return to your old neighborhood but none of the people will be there, just the buildings. I get emotionally attached to architecture and a huge piece of architecture, the iron curtain, both literal and figurative, is gone. I can’t go home again. All I can do, is try to make this home better.

exhaling

2006-11-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

thank you ted rall.

the peacenik guy is actually wearing dutchman's coat (and rainhat). and the peacenik chic kinda has my hair.

and we've said so many many times before that when the time came we would give the disillusioned a soft place to land.

because, unfortunately, we know what it's like to lose faith in your country. we've been living with it a little longer -- but it still hurts like a mofo.

and, fortunately, our country is us. and now that we the people have the opportunity to come together, we can make some real change.

so let's all take a deep breath, shake hands, take stock and get to work on undoing some of the damage and building a better future.

i voted, i think

2006-11-07T17:51:00.000-08:00

here in Hollywood I went down to my usual polling place at the gay and lesbian community center (how do you like that, red staters?) and there was a full-on haus frau tussle going on between the lady who thinks she should be in charge and the lady that says she's in charge, all about this InkaVote ballot checking equipment

but before I get to that I have to tell you that one of the younger volunteers had her little boy there behind the sign-in desk- the little darling took one look at me and said:

"ooh, mama- he looks just like The Undertaker"

(I thought about offering to embalm the little fucker, but kids will be kids)

so the yammering went on while I tried to concentrate on voting- i checked my little black dots and all looked right, but i really wanted to try this electronic ballot checking machine

which is on another floor. hence the confusion- we at the orange table apparently needed the volunteers to draw a small orange "o" on the back of our ballot before we went downstairs to check the ballot in the (democracy-killing) gizmotron

(this explains why i heard one of the whip-smart volunteers yelling into her cell phone "i been volunteering for 12 years - they didn't tell me at the training nothing about no stairs! now she comin' in here tellin' me what to do- I don't work for her- i'm suppose to tell HER when my peoples are going to lunch? and I aint stayin' here late- no way!")

so i go downstairs and look for the StInkaVote machine- I stuck my ballot in the slot marked INSERT BALLOT HERE and ...nothin'

I notice the touch screen is on a "test" page, and I see the EXIT button- but I figured the volunteers must know what they're doing- the first lady called over some dude- he proceeded, from the "test" page - to touch all of the "test" options

(at this point I'm dying to reach over and tap the EXIT button)

he looks at me and tells me "it's not working" -then the BOSS LADY comes over- the one that caused the lady upstairs to go into her caniption fit- and SHE starts touching all of the "test" buttons

finally, I spoke up- "how about we hit the EXIT key until we get to the start page?"

that worked- good God- three volunteers hovering around this infernal machine and I fixed it

I mean, God bless these people, but I doubt they know how to use an ATM , let alone protect our democratic rights

so in goes the ballot- zip- and boss lady cheerily tells me "that's it!"

well where did my ballot go?

into the machine

what?

(the machine spits out a receipt, which I reach for)

no that's not for you- that's a test receipt

now I thought, since I didn't vote for Senator (f-u! Feinstein- hope your granddaughter doesn't have to go to Iraq!) that that might show up as an "error"

nope- the machine just ate it right up... thank god it has an orange "o" on the back!

so I think i voted...

UPDATE: I went to www.lavote.net to find the # to call to CRY "FOUL!" and found this here pdf that explains to me that the gizmotron is actually the pbr and that it did what it was supposed to do... (unless there's a shredder in that god damned thing)

Happy Voting, SUCKERS!

-The Undertaker

vote, you sons of bitches, VOTE!!!

2006-11-06T19:28:00.000-08:00

well I'm not in Colorado, but I sure wish i could vote for this one...

i'll be voting early tommorrow- and keeping an eye out for the next big STEAL

if the repugs maintain control of the us congress tomorrow, then I swear to god they stole it, and it's TIME

time for the real thing- revolution in the streets...however that manifests itself

here in LA people will probably just bitch about the impeded traffic and welcome Imperial Governor Moff Schwarzenegger's draconian death squads/traffic cops...

we'll see...

Bush Ain't Foolin Poland

2006-10-29T12:06:00.000-08:00

Pulaski here making a rare appearance I live in Poland where I teach young professionals English. None of my students believe for a Polish minute that this war is necessary and they all believe its simply big bully U.S. stealing oil from a weaker nation. I have yet to meet a supporter, and further many are disgusted that Poland is sending troops to help. But being a weak economic nation Poland must ally with someone in order to survive but its like a whipped dog begging for a hand-out. Furthermore if a Polish soldier is killed in Iraq his family can count on a whopping 200,000 Polish Zloty in compensation (that's about sixty grand U.S.) You can buy a decent home here for that.
I don't know if it is common knowledge but Polands' President and Prime Minister are twin brothers! They also made a famous film here when they were about ten. They are right wing to the Catholic extreme often sanctioned by the E.U. for their views about homosexuality.
As for me well I am going through a real Polish reality hows that for redundancy? September first I was fired from my teaching job for refusing to write 1000 questions for my schools new English book which is a blatant rip-off of the Callan Method book they have used for years.. This work was to be done without compensation, and all the Polish teachers had to comply because its much harder for them to find a job. But as a Native speaker of English for me its quite easy, I found a new job and am happy but don't get paid until Nov. 10th! So my little family and I have been borrowing money from Grandma and my Mother-in-Law to feed ourselves and keep my little Lilly in Pampers. The Polish reality part is how the hell do average Poles live on the equivalent to what we are borrowing? When I finally get paid all will be well but most polish people make do on about 600 to 700 U.S. $ a month. Anyway it has been extremely difficult for us and of course the baby is sick so I had to buy medicine instead of other necessities, man that sucks! So Patriots please wish the lords of Karma to work their magic on my back-stabbin boss at TOP ENGLISH SCHOOL Katowice Poland. And keep up the fine work!

apoplectic apocalyptic ellipses

2006-10-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

can't write... raging... want to go see the new dixie chicks flick "shut up and sing" but i'm pretty sure i would get evicted from the theatre for screaming at the screen... want to write letters to editors and blogsites for the local news for asking if michael j. fox is manipulative instead of asking why drug-addled gasbag lush rimjob is such an enormous asshole... want to go to dc and join the sit in on the election but can't afford it... want want want to move toward the light and out of this putrid, hatefilled, greedy freakshow we currently live in...

2006-10-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

Best Auto Mechanic in Los Angeles

2006-10-06T12:02:00.000-07:00

i'm still twitching and apoplectic over the state of the world.

so in the spirit of trying to say something good instead of not at all, i will now take this time to tell you about the best mechanic i have ever ever ever met in my life.

Jim Matson of Matson Automotive.

he's the best. was once voted "most honest mechanic" by the LA Weekly. and he is. our last mechanic never cost us less than $250 - every single time - whether this repair was the same as the last repair we had done a month ago (and still should be under warrantee) or seemed simple and quick, it was a minimum of $250.

after many visits to jim, i'm just now getting a bill for that amount and i'm glad to pay it. when i took my clunker in last month for a stuck gas pedal (yikes!) he didn't charge us anything! a friend passing through town who needed some emergency car care was charged $63 bucks! (he said he'd never paid that little and the ailment had been a mystery back home for months!)

and, by the way, jim is waaaaay cool. just a cool guy. and if he can't fix it, he'll send you to someone who will for a great price. that old mechanic i went to said it would cost a minimum of $800 to fix our sunroof(!) and jim sent us to a place that did it for under $300.

jim is the best. check him out here: www.jimmatson.com

2006-09-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

despair

friends of yours?

2006-09-23T19:44:00.000-07:00

geoff

ann

pictures from nyc indymedia

truthout.org:

Camp Democracy Delivers War Crimes Indictment

In December of 2005 and January of 2006, a war crimes tribunal in New York City heard testimony from dozens of witnesses. Jurors included 29-year military veteran Ann Wright and former CIA analyst Ray McGovern. They announced their verdict in a press conference on Wednesday, September 13th at Camp Democracy. They then hand-delivered the verdicts to the White House and the Justice Department.

QuickTime
DSL | 56K
Windows Media
DSL | 56K
RealMedia
DSL | 56K

why we have the duty to speak out

2006-09-05T12:01:00.000-07:00

please click on cloy and grant's photos and listen to their stories.

these two men told their stories on stage for the first time at camp casey 3.

my mother, a military wife and daughter, cringes every time someone talks about the women and children killed in iraq. she fears we will return to the vietnam era when soldiers were (allegedly) called baby killers.

these men tell the stories of the innocents they've killed. we are not only killing them in iraq, we are killing our own...

it is our job to stop this civilian administration from creating more victims.

dedication

2006-09-04T10:13:00.000-07:00

i'm home.

switching gears.

while i was at camp i kept this song running through my head:

people are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
forgive them anyway.
if you are kind people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
be kind anyway.
if you are successful, you may win some false friends and some true enemies.
succeed anyway.
if you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
be honest and frank anyway.
what you spend years building someone could destroy overnight. build anyway.
build anyway.
if you find serenity and happiness they may be jealous.
be happy anyway.
the things you do today people will often forget tomorrow.
do good anyway.
do good anyway.
give the world the best you have.
it may never be enough.
give the world the best you've got anyway.
because, you see, it was never between you and them anyway.

now that i'm home this keeps running through my head:

i dedicate this journey to
all the batshit crazy people i met along the way.
you don't know who you are.

pictures from crawford, camp casey august 2006

2006-08-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

"I want him arrested. He planned the war that killed my son"

2006-08-21T10:23:00.000-07:00

August 19, 2006 Anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan (center) and her sister Dede Miller (left) during a protest outside the ballroom where Karl Rove was speaking at an Associated Republicans of Texas dinner Saturday in Austin, Texas. Chanting "Try Rove for treason," Sheehan and more than 50 other war protesters disrupted the reception before President Bush's top adviser spoke at the fundraiser. (Photo: AP)

Troops Home Yet?

2006-08-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

cassandra is in crawford for the month- if she has time to blog, she will...

in the meantime she's working herself ragged yet somehow finding time to compose bumperstickers- look what she came up with:

It's the bumpersticker du jour here: www.bumperactive.com

just spoke with our girl in Texas... she seems good- busy, tired, all that... but good

we love her...

how many soldiers per gallon does YOUR ride get?

2006-08-09T12:17:00.000-07:00

BTW- cassandra is in crawford at camp casey- she never has time to blog or even photoblog, and the new site isn't set up with water and power (and wireless broadband) like camp casey II was- yet...

dutchman will join her at the end of august...

peace salaam shalom

Anti-war radio

2006-08-06T17:22:00.000-07:00

oh my god, i'm in heaven! i finally found what i've been looking for and it's this: Anti-War Radio it's so fkng awesome.

i used to listen to a similar radio station on aol radio. it was called politics a go go. same format, protest songs of all genres mixed with clips from political speeches and such.. then aol yanked it and all i can find there that's similar is their patriotic station -- which is all jingoism all the time and that is NOT patriotic, that's loyalist...

but now i have what i want! hear hear! check it out! go now. it's awesome!

Blair and Bush Pee on flags

2006-08-05T01:28:00.000-07:00

isn't there a law against this?

"You're guilty. We can't tell you why, but there's a guy, we can't tell you who, who told us something. We can't tell you what, but you're guilty."

2006-08-02T05:49:00.000-07:00

yep, that's what's coming down the pike...

read all about it here

remember way back when last month when the supremes poo-pooed bush's policy of locking up foreign "detainees" and throwing away the key? well, shortly after that was decided, bush said he would work with congress to get legislation passed making it legal after all.

so, he's written up that plan and he's planning to expand his blackhole policy to include you and me and any other unamerican he can corner.

as i've said before, the one thing i share with the conscienceless conservatives is my big daddy complex. how i wish that i could ask my dad if he supports policies that would deny defendants:

rights to confront accusers, exclude hearsay accusations, or bar evidence obtained through rough or coercive interrogations. They would not be guaranteed a public or speedy trial and would lack the right to choose their military counsel, who in turn would not be guaranteed equal access to evidence held by prosecutors.
Detainees would also not be guaranteed the right to be present at their own trials, if their absence is deemed necessary to protect national security or individuals.

when do we start seeking political asylum?

Israel bombs Malibu!

2006-08-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

The Freewayblogger gives us the lowdown- how did we miss this in yesterday's Times?

it's my party

2006-07-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

i spent my birthday wallowing in shit. figurative shit. when i found myself a work widow and felt completely isolated by my recent writing schedule i threw myself a pity party.

oh, and the end of the world might have influenced my grief just a wee bit.

the other 364.25 days a year i feel obliged to be optimistic and keep up the fight. so as a treat to myself i gave myself one whole day to just wallow in despair.

my poor husband.

and, as if his work demands didn't depress me enough, i had to accompany him to a taping of a true piece of shit that night. got the whole studio-audience-as-cattle treatment and all -- after waiting for hours to be allowed to attend the craptacular fiasco.

while waiting in the 100+ degree weather i watched as a little bird flew by and landed in a nest in the eves above my head.

and it took me awhile -- but i had plenty o time, just sitting there, sweating, waiting to be herded in to see a bunch of crappy jokes with NO FUCKING PUNCH LINES -- so i kept looking at that thing hanging down next to my little bird friend's nest.

this is a closer look

as if i wasn't already suicidal. i just kept imagining my bird friend watching as his/her mate hung there by some kind of vine or something, thrashing away until weakly giving in to...

somebody please shoot me!

the good news is my passport is on its way... i finally got some air conditioning of sorts so the cats have stopped panting... i bought my tickets for crawford... my script is almost done...

it's not much but i have to get it up again so...

at least the following post/prediction hasn't come true... yet. with omens like i've seen, i fear what really is a-brewing...

the lusitania, the orient queen and the gulf of tonkin

2006-07-19T03:26:00.000-07:00

Crew members of the Orient Queen welcomed aboard parents pushing strollers and clutching their children.

Many expressed frustration that it had taken the U.S. government so long to get them out of Lebanon while Europeans and Lebanese with foreign passports already have fled by the thousands.

"I can't believe the Americans," Danni Atiyeh, a 39-year-old civil engineer from Kansas City, Mo., said as he stood with his pregnant wife and sons Ali, 10, and Adrian, 6, while waiting for buses that were taking them to the ship. "Everybody else has gone home ... We're still here."

The U.S. State Department said Tuesday it had dropped a plan to make Americans reimburse the government for the trip, but Atiyeh said he and others were asked to sign promissory notes to pay for the trip before they could leave.
It wasn't clear what time the ship would leave port. An estimated 8,000 of the 25,000 Americans in Lebanon want to leave the country.

cassandra grimly predicts that the ship won't ever leave the port. the orient queen will sit there with its captive evacuees until they are attacked giving george WWIII bush his ultimate ticket to all out war.

i see troy burning! save yourselves!

Hitler's ugly legacy

2006-07-15T00:19:00.000-07:00

as an abused child grows up to abuse, israel turns on their enemy with a visciousness that can not be defended.

a listener called in to the ed schultz show today to say she couldn't support israel's actions and schultz countered with a knee-jerk response, "what do you have against the jews?"

i guess the jews for justice for palestinians are a bunch of anti-semites too?

We watch with horror the collective punishment of the people of Gaza. Everything reasonable must be done to secure Corporal Gilad Shalit’s safe release but nothing Israel is doing contributes to that aim. Instead, it is using its enormously superior military might to terrorise an entire people.

Destruction of the fragile Gaza infrastructure will not release Shalit. Bombing power stations and cutting off fuel supplies deprives people of electricity, refrigeration, pumped drinking water and sewage disposal services. It holds hostage hospital patients on life support systems, or undergoing dialysis. It brings the threat of epidemics and starvation.

never again... that was the lesson of the holocaust. but what is happening now? i surfed into this port which summed up my queasiness perfectly

... what does “never again” even mean? Never again to the Jews? Never again should the Jewish people be without a home, and we must defend that home to every possible end? Never again should killing, or even the preparations for killing, go on for years on end without intervention? Never again should the world witness the organized and systematic attempt to exterminate (a) people?

Never again should we see anything even resembling such horror, or only something at that level? Worst of all, what will we do if/when it does happen again? For me, the lesson has been that a people who have suffered such great tragedy and oppression should never participate in, let alone be responsible for, policies and actions that result in the oppression of others. No exceptions.

when will we ever learn?

musings of a boiled frog

2006-07-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

cassandra told you wwiii was coming. i even thought it might already be here but i actually hate being right about these things.

so i choose to continue to live in denial and do what i can to rage, rage against the dying of the light...

stray thoughts keep colliding in my head.

i came across this story today:

*By Mark Benjamin*
Jul. 14, 2006 Congress has demanded that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld hand over a raft of documents to Congress that could substantiate allegations that U.S. forces have tried to break terror suspects by kidnapping and mistreating their family members. Rumsfeld has until 5 p.m. Friday to comply.

It now appears that kidnapping, scarcely covered by the media, and absent in the major military investigations of detainee abuse, may have been systematically employed by U.S. troops. Salon has obtained Army documents that show several cases where U.S. forces abducted terror suspects' families

the article goes on to describe a few of the many, routine kidnappings of women and children used to force a suspected terrorist to comply with the US' requests for info or surrender. i honestly don't have the energy to go into it any further or even comment... i'm so... i don't know...

and i'm also wondering whether i should read john dean's new book "conservatives without conscience." or will it just make me feel even more abandoned by my father.

this is, of course, all about daddy. daddy was in the army. daddy was in intelligence. when i moved to san francisco at the age of 19 and lived with folks who told me all about what our military was doing in central america, i had to find a place to compartmentalize that information because daddy was in the military. and my daddy wouldn't do that. would he?

my dad was always a cool dad. he's funny and smart and used to hunt and peck out letters to the editor on his little electric typewriter on such a regular basis that one time, when i was introduced at the first read through of a play in college, another actor said "are you related to that guy who always writes to the paper?" i was proud of my dad. he fought for things. and he was creative too. once when a neighbor left a bathtub on his front lawn for one too many months, my dad put a notice in the paper for a "free bathtub to anyone who can haul it away." yeah, he verged on being the town crank but he also fought for injustice. he typed up a letter for me once when i told him about the amway convention at the hyatt where i worked. the amway honchos were SCAMMING the amway peons in a big way and i was forced to collaborate. together we wrote a letter to 60 minutes. it might not have meant anything to 60 minutes but it meant a lot to me. he instilled in me that you can fight city hall. you may not win, but you can fight.

and i fought with him too. we had some rocky years there where he didn't talk to me for months on end. typical teenaged rebellion stuff, mostly. pretty mild actually. arguments about bathing suits and backtalk, nothing too heavy...

so it's not like i'm in love with my daddy as an authority figure. not in the way dean talks about in his new book. i love my dad because he taught me what to believe in and how to fight for it. he instilled in me my morals.

and now he believes in ann coulter. and rush limbaugh. and bill o'reilly. and george bush. it's just so hard for me to understand. my dad overcame a lot. he grew up in a home with rampant racism and domestic violence and i only know this because he told me, not from any of his actions. he left home and left those things behind and raised a family the best he could. he has so much to be proud of, and yet...

we can't talk about these things. it's too volatile, i guess. i know it would be for me. i'm in tears just contemplating the discussion.. but if we could i don't know where i would start. would i ask him about any friends he's had who were gay and why he would deny them basic human rights, like the right to sit by a bedside of the one you love when they're dying? would i ask him if he thinks i should be punished for treason for my beliefs and imprisoned for my support of gold star families who have lost their sons for no noble reason? would i ask him if he thinks it's okay for young american soldiers to kidnap a wife and three daughters and threaten them with torture in order to get the husband to turn himself in? would i ask him if supports imprisonment without trial of those in gitmo for being suspected terrorist? what about the torture at abu ghraib? does he really believe that it was only a few bad apples and the chain of command is innocent?

i don't know what i would ask first but i would start by reminding him of something he said to me once. when i first started working in campaign politics i was amazed at how much i could do, how much influence i had so quickly. i remember telling my dad that i only had half a brain yet i was a frikking genius compared to the quarter-brained people i was working with. my dad kind of off-handedly said, "well, you always were the smartest one in the family." that kind of rocked my world. at first, i was bowled over by my father even remarking that i was in any way intelligent. later, i was angry that he felt that way and never said anything earlier. i spent my whole early family life feeling like a weirdo, definitely ostracized by the rest of the clan who would just shake their heads in unison at most of what i said as if i was speaking the language of the planet claire..

now that i'm older, i still try to wear that remark as comfortably as possible. when i was home for a family crisis i felt honored to be the one who figured out how to manage my grandmother's health care. it was weird and invigorating to be the adult in the group who they trusted to find answers and good advice.

so i think i would start somewhere around there. i would remind daddy that he told me once that i was the smart one and ask him to trust me as i try to untie the knot that his thinking has become. i would ask him to reconcile the father i used to know with the one he has become -- to explain it to me so that i can understand how this change has happened. but mostly, i think i would try to tell him that i want my daddy back. the one that was my hero. i need him right now. the world has become so very dark and scary and i don't know how to live with his being on the dark side of it all.

john dean's book and article talk about the hard core conservatives' need for a strong authoritarian father figure. that they will not be swayed away from their loyalty to big daddy bush. it makes me want to come up with some kind of counter to those fkers who always yell "get a job!" at our protests. i want to tell them to "get a daddy!" but that so dumb it doesn't make any sense at all..

the idea that my father has abdicated his position to follow another, bigger father like a lemming is just too hard to handle. i guess i'm the one who needs to get a daddy..

Bush spreads oldstyle communism

2006-07-13T12:24:00.000-07:00

People were kept out of the city centre except for invited guests and more than 2,200 drain covers and other receptacles were sealed as a precaution against bomb threats.

With more than 12,000 police drafted in for the Bush trip and any area he visits sealed off and turned into a fortress, many [Stralsund, Germany] locals grumbled that the barbed wire reminded them of life in the communist east.

yep, that's what happens when bush comes to your town...

see i grew up in divided berlin. and when i was in elementary school we would visit the wall. we would climb up the stairs of the observation decks and peer over the wall into the desolate east. our side had observation decks, the east had gun towers. and the east was desolate. the streets were empty and the buildings looked dank and colorless -- i now recognize that they lacked the advertising and billboards of the west. capitalism = color.

being 7,8 or 9 i would ask why they were over there and we were over here. i was told various things that i can remember. i vaguely remember inferring that they were to be pitied because they had a bad government. why? because they weren't free. they couldn't speak freely (so far, we can do that in government sanctioned areas, stay tuned to this free speech zone), they weren't free to choose where they lived (as a military brat i found that ironic even then), they couldn't choose what they wanted to be when they grew up (as a teacher i see the very real limitations imposed by economics and racism there), and they couldn't even choose when they could go to a doctor -- hello? any of you have insurance? if you do, do you get to use it the way you would like? do you know that if you ever have to leave one insurance carrier for another that you won't be covered for anything you've been treated for for the past ten years??

and now our "good" government wants to build our own wall. and i don't think our side will have the observation decks. even my politically middle-of-the-road mom finds this unbearable. she can't imagine living on the side with the gun towers.

Liberal Media Outlet NBC Outs Flag-Burning War-Protesters

2006-07-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

COMMEMORATION OF THIRTIETH ANNNERSARY [sic] OF SELFLESS ACTIONS BY CHICAGO CUBS CENTER FIELDER RICK MONDAY IN PREVENTING AMERICAN FLAG BURNING INCIDENT.

WHEREAS, On April 25, 1976, the Chicago Cubs were playing the Dodgers in Los Angeles, California when two protesters ran onto the baseball field with an American flag; and
WHEREAS, The protesters doused the American flag with lighter fluid and then attempted to light it on fire with a match, but the wind blew it out; and
WHEREAS, Just as one of the protesters reached for a second match, Rick Monday, the Cubs' center fielder, raced towards the protesters in left field and scooped up the flag; and
WHEREAS, Mr. Monday then sprinted towards the infield with the flag safely in his arms; and
WHEREAS, Mr. Monday was heralded as a hero for saving the flag, earning a standing ovation at his next at-bat, and receiving a hero's welcome wherever the Cubs played the rest of the season; and
WHEREAS, Former Mayor Richard J. Daley asked Mr. Monday to serve as Grand Marshal for Chicago's "Annual Salute to the American Flag" in June of 1976; and
WHEREAS, The Baseball Hall of Fame recently named Mr. Monday's quickthinking act as one of the one hundred classic moments in the history of the game; and
WHEREAS, Thirty years later, Mr. Monday's act continues to inspire baseball fans across the country, from Pearl Harbor survivors to people who were not yet born in 1976; and
WHEREAS, Mr. Monday has earned the respect and admiration of all Chicagoans for rescuing the American flag, which embodies the most cherished rights and freedoms central to our cultural identity; now, therefore, Be It Resolved, That we, the Mayor and the members of the City Council of the City of Chicago, assembled this twenty-sixth day of April, 2006, do hereby honor Rick Monday on the thirty year anniversary of his selfless act to save the American Flag; and
Be It Further Resolved, That suitable copies of this resolution be delivered to Mr. Monday as a token of our esteem and good wishes.

why does this patriot actor care about this declaration of whatever or other? because whereas a baseball player rushed to get a flag off the ground out of respect for what it stands for (a scene i've witnessed numerous times at peace marches and immigration rallies when a flag inadvertently touched the ground), on tonight's local nbc newscast, the protester burning the flag was turned into a "war protester."

so, nbc, since this is the 30th anniversary of the event, howsabout pointing out what war was going on in 1976? (other than argentina's "dirty war" supported by the US in the form of henry kissinger -- no one was paying attention to that at the time and i think those details were disappeared along with 10,000 protesting argentineans..)

no, nbc, those weren't "war protestors." according to the april 30, 1976 los angeles times "The man who tried to burn the American Flag at Dodger Stadium was attempting to draw attention to what he claims is his wife's imprisonment in a Missouri mental institution, authorities say." don't know if i'd choose that particular method myself, but the guy weren't no war protester.

so don't go denigrating us true war protesters by getting your facts all screwed up. unlike 1976, there is a very real war going on right now, an illegal war. one that is being truly protested all around the world. and we have more important things to do that screw with america's favorite opiate.

i personally don't get the flag fetish. the flag is a fkng symbol. we use symbols like flags to stand in for things that are intangible, invisible, they can be amorphous and open to interpretation. i know this may be hard for some hardheaded literalists (read: fundamentalists) to understand but the flag is not what's important, it's the invisible, imaginary superpower that it stands for that's important.

and what it stands for is freedom to speak your mind and protest your government and the pursuit of life and liberty. (i think i've learned to forget about happiness - don't pursue happiness, or at least don't let the folks in power see what it is that makes you happy. as soon as they figger out what makes you happy, say stuff like letting grandma live a long life in her own home with the pension her husband earned for her and with nice comfy medical care and prescription drugs right up until the day she passes peacefully in her sleep. if they think that'll make you happy, they'll be sure to destroy it. hide your happiness -- hide! but i digress, again...)

to kick someone's ass for destroying the symbol is desecrating the ideals and actions for which it stands.

i know i'm an atheist, but my christian upbringing tells me this is worshipping false idols. to worship the flag and disdain the freedom it symbolizes is perverse. i simply don't understand it. it's like worshipping jesus and then ignoring his messages about loving your enemy and ministering to the poor and imprisoned and ... oh, nevermind.

i, personally would also rush to pick up a dropped flag. i would equally rush to protect a flag burner. they're both the right thing to do.

Thank you Lt. Ehren Watada

2006-06-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

On June 22, U.S. Army First Lieutenant Ehren K. Watada became the first commissioned officer to publicly refuse deployment to the unlawful Iraq War and occupation.

Supporters nationwide are mounting a national day of action today, Tuesday, June 27. Larger mobilizations will be staged leading up to Lt. Watada's court martial.

Even before Lt. Watada refused to deploy, the military had already launched an investigation into his many speeches in opposition to the war.

Your support, including donations to Lt. Watada’s defense fund, are urgently needed today.

army of fun

2006-06-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

i've never wanted to be a clown before but now i'm rethinking it...

check out circa and read about their latest recruitment efforts in oakland here.

The Immigration Debate

2006-06-23T16:18:00.000-07:00

PTSD

2006-06-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

i lifted this from a friend i met at camp casey. the next time i see him, i'll have to tell him how when we met with senator feinstein to tell her why she needs to bring the troops home NOW she didn't even know what ptsd stood for...

This is an excerpt from the documentary film, "Hearts and Minds." Although some of you may not agree with me on this, I do believe that one of the root causes of "PTSD," is simply from being a part of an injustice. Here is how this Marine put it:
-What hurts the most, and this is a purely personal thing, you know? Right, wrong or indifferent, that's how I feel. When I was in the Marine Corps... I remember I was in the Marine Corps barracks in Washington. They called it "A," "F," and "I." And they had the Marine Corps drill team there... And I was standing at attention in my uniform, and they were playing the Marine Corps hymn... And they played the Star-Spangled Banner... And I actually started to cry... I cried because i was so proud to be an American, you know? And I was so proud to be a Marine, and in uniform, standing there at attention... That represented so much to me in the way of life and... That's gone, you know? And that hurt... That hurts... That's what I'm bitter about. -Robert Muller. Paralyzed Vietnam Veteran

Resistance in the US military to the Iraq War

2006-06-22T20:24:00.000-07:00

by Ann Wright US Army reserve Colonel (Ret) and former US Diplomat

As a 29-year Army and Army Reserves veteran, I am horrified to see the politicization of the U.S. military under the Bush administration. The "ethics and professionalism" of the U.S. military have been targeted for destruction by the civilian appointees of this administration. They want "yes" men and women who do not question the legality of the policies of the administration. Tragically, from the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs on down, Rumsfeld and crew have been successful in stifling professional discussion within the military, with the exception of former Army Chief of Staff Shinseki and now six retired generals. Under the Bush administration, there is no accountability or responsibility for criminal actions; privates and sergeants are court-martialed, while senior civilian and military leaders responsible for the criminal policies are free.

Despite the "yes, sir" attitude of senior military officers toward the Bush administration’s illegal policies, there is resistance within the U.S. military to the war on Iraq. Military personnel know they have the right and duty to refuse illegal orders, including the order to deploy to an illegal war. They know the United States executed German and Japanese military officers and civilians for their participation in wars of aggression in World War II. They know that the Nuremberg principles adopted by the international community after World War II require civilians and military personnel to stop their government from committing illegal acts. Those in the military who dissent and resist to what they know are illegal actions of the Bush administration are persons of the highest courage and conscience.

Resistance to the war on Iraq within the U.S. military community is growing. Over eight thousand American soldiers are absent without leave (AWOL), most living underground in the United States. Many now refer to AWOL as "Against War of Lies" instead of Absent Without Leave. Individual non-public resistance in the military generally results in an administrative discharge without publicity. Thousands have turned themselves into military authorities and have been administratively discharged from the military. U.S. military bases discharge dozens of war resisters each week.

Public resistance by military personnel to the war on Iraq results in courts-martial to make an example of the resister. Some military personnel have applied for conscientious objector (CO) status. Most have been denied CO status and ten have been court-martialed and imprisoned for publicly refusing to obey orders to deploy to Iraq to commit criminal acts in Iraq, including murder by bombing innocent civilians, shooting innocent civilians and torture. Those who refuse to deploy to Iraq and kill for the Bush administration generally receive more punishment than those who commit criminal acts of murder and torture.

Four women who had served in the military were honored last week at the annual War Resisters meeting in New York City. Three had applied for conscience objector status and had been refused by the military. One is now imprisoned at Fort Lewis, WA for refusing weapons training and deployment. One completed her assignment in Iraq and returned to become a cofounder of Iraq Veterans Against the War (IVAW).

Hundreds of U.S. military have chosen to resist the war by living in Canada, most under the radar of the now-conservative Canadian government. Twenty-four U.S. military have publicly moved to Canada and are seeking political refugee status. They are supported by an incredible network of Canadians citizens and American war resisters from the Vietnam era who are now Canadian citizens, who assist the next generation of U.S. military who resist illegal wars of aggression.

This weekend Iraq Veterans Against the War, Veterans for Peace and Gold Star Families for Peace, including Cindy Sheehan and myself, participated in Buffalo, NY fund raisers for U.S. war resisters living in Canada. We met seven of the twenty-four brave men and their families who have said the Bush administration’s war on Iraq is a war crime and their participation in the war would mean that they too are war criminals. While they are volunteers for the defense of our country, they are not "yes" men to the administration; they are "yes" men to the Constitution of the United States. They are persons of conscience who see the war for what it really is and are resisting the pressures to dutifully comply with military orders to conduct illegal actions.

Their decisions to live in Canada underscore the right of military personnel to challenge an illegal order and to live with the consequences of that challenge. They have chosen live in Canada with their families rather than being imprisoned for saying no to killing for the Bush administration’s goals. Should the security of the United States truly be threatened, they would defend it.

They live free of guilt of killing innocent Iraqis. But the decision to live in Canada comes with its own penalties. These brave soldiers and marines leave the support network of friends and buddies in the military. These persons of courage endure family divisions when family members do not agree with their decision to leave the military and go to Canada. These honorable men undertake the daily struggles of suddenly caring for one’s family in a new country. These honorable soldiers are unable to return to the United States until an amnesty is offered by a future President. But the consequences of the act of conscience mean these soldiers and marines will not have the lifelong guilt of the murder innocent civilians, nor the nightmares of seeing their friends blown up in a war whose purpose they believe is illegal and a war crime.

This week Army First Lieutenant Ehren Watada will become the first officer to refuse to deploy with his unit to Iraq. He will be the first officer of this war who refuses to participate in military actions guaranteed to destroy his future emotional, if not physical, life—and impact his family for decades to come. This week also marks the first time in this war that a church is offering sanctuary to war resisters. The membership of First United Methodist Church of Tacoma, Washington, just outside Fort Lewis, where Lieutenant Watada is stationed, has said that they will resist the Bush administration’s illegal war by sheltering any who refuse to participate in the war.

Another aspect of resistance within the military community comes from retired generals who are now publicly questioning the military operational plans that have put U.S. troops in jeopardy in Iraq and the impact of the war on Iraq on the military and its ability to respond to genuine threats to U.S. national security.

For the twenty-nine years I was in the military either on active duty or in the Reserves, my worst nightmare was that an administration would get the United States into a military conflict that I knew was illegal. Today, if I were recalled from the U.S. Army’s Retired Ready Reserves, I would have to say, "I will not serve the Bush Administration’s war on Iraq. I will not agree to be recalled. You will have to court-martial me as I will not participate in this illegal war of aggression, this war crime."

Acts of resistance, big and small, recognized nationally or never heard by most, by military and civilians are all-important elements of ending the illegal war, the war crime, committed by the Bush administration. People of conscience all over the country are refusing to be silent and are taking courageous steps to end the illegal war on Iraq.

What will you do to stop this illegal war?

Ann Wright

Ann Wright is a retired Colonel with 29 years in the U.S. Army and Army Reserves and as a U.S. diplomat for 16 years, and resisted the war on Iraq by resigning in March 2003 from her position as Deputy Chief of Mission, or Deputy Ambassador from the U.S. Embassy in Mongolia. Ann served in the diplomatic corps in Nicaragua, Grenada, Somalia, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Sierra Leone, Micronesia and Mongolia and helped reopen the U.S. Embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan in December 2001. As a U.S. military officer, she participated in post-conflict reconstruction in Grenada, Panama and Somalia. She received the State Department’s Award for Heroism as the acting U.S. Ambassador during the evacuation of the international community during the brutal rebel takeover of Freetown, Sierra Leone in 1997. With her service in both the U.S. military and the U.S. State Department in areas of conflict all over the world, she felt the U.S. invasion and occupation of an oil-rich, Moslem country that had done nothing to the United States and was no threat to U.S. national security would make the world more dangerous and place the United States in greater jeopardy. She believed the act of invading Iraq would be an act of aggression, a war crime. Two others from the U.S. diplomat corps also believed the Bush administration’s war on Iraq was illegal and resisted by resigning from the U.S. government. As civilian U.S. government employees, there was no penalty to their resistance to the war except giving up their careers.

Links:
GI Hotline
Peace Has No Borders
War Resisters Support Campaign-Canada
War Resisters League
Iraq Veterans Against the War
Veterans for Peace
Gold Star Families for Peace
Military Families Speak Out
The Real War Heroes

2500

2006-06-15T18:51:00.000-07:00

2500

yearly kos begs bloggers to get off their butts

2006-06-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

"It's very hard, actually, to move people from online activism to offline activism. That's the next step. That's what liberals and democrats are going to have to do." -- Paul Begala from NPR's On The Media's coverage of Yearly Kos

so far it sounds like the ongoing theme of yearly kos is that blogging is not enough. as one of the lunchtime candidates said, if he sees that next year the kossaks are not only blogging but also serving on their democratic central parties and ptas he will know we are winning.

last summer i was a volunteer coordinator at cindy sheehan's camp casey in crawford texas. this was a true grassroots movement, a tipping point that was run completely by volunteers. near the end of august we had thousands of people showing up during the days to see what was happening and hundreds camping 24/7. this meant we needed folks to volunteer to do things like direct traffic, stand guard at night, help out in the kitchen, gather up trash and recycling - you name it, there was a lot of work to be done.

every morning and every evening the camp commander, former diplomat ann wright, would call for volunteers to take a shift. since the bloggers wouldn't leave their tables to join the morning and evening volunteer meetings, we started physically moving the meetings closer to them. they still wouldn't volunteer. when asked directly, a number said that their contribution to camp was their blogging.

as someone who would have loved to take time to add to my personal blog for my family and friends, i resented them. there was too much work to be done. manual labor, heavy frigging burdens that these able-bodied folks could have easily lightened.

camp casey was a true community and a microcosm of our movement. i risk airing our dirty laundry to say that i support the pleas of the organizers who ask you to get off your asses. one common lament of the netroots is the lack of backbone in the democratic party. howsabout setting an example by first using yours to do some heavy lifting?

the truth is, after much shaming, a few bloggers did start taking their turns at security and such. and they honestly looked happier for it. it's much more satisifying to be a part of a movement than to simply report on it.

bloggers do serve a purpose. i thank all of you for your contributions and damn all of you for my addiction. but nothing absolves any of us of our duty to get out and volunteer to do the actual dirty work as well...

thank zeus i don't have children

2006-06-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

saw a billboard for jill greenberg's new exhibit, end times that's opening soon. it perfectly depicts the reasons i am so grateful i don't have kids.

how can we create this world for our children?

do people give birth to new, frail humans just to let them witness destruction?

what kind of sadists are we?

2006-06-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

did you?

pc pussies!

2006-05-30T18:43:00.000-07:00

the cats think i shouldn't have posted that political cartoon down below.

hannah is shocked!

vernon is outraged and yelled until his tonsils fell out

leela just threatened me. i'm not sure what she's threatening but she's threatening

memorial day 2006

2006-05-29T15:41:00.000-07:00

I want a Halliburton SurvivaBall!

2006-05-13T19:09:00.000-07:00

just in time for fitzmas in may! Halliburton's SurvivaBall!

the perfect gift for the libertarian who has everything.
they can be their own little gated community of one.

Merry Fracking Fitzmas to You TOO!

2006-05-12T17:19:00.000-07:00

will i get everything i wanted?

love me daddy?

2006-05-12T11:09:00.000-07:00

when i used to listen to howard stern (before he abandoned the middle class he claims to represent) i would often hear him take the various desperate behaviours of strippers, drunks and perverts and boil them all down to one mantra, "love me daddy."

i've been doing my own version of that lately. except mine is more like "explain it to me daddy." my dad is a ditto head and as much as i love him i can't figure him out. and where i used to feel that he was just misguided or crazy or experiencing some kind of early-onset alzheimer's, as this world gets crazier and more dangerous my internal "explain it to me daddy" has a more angry edge to it. you voted for this monster. you listen to this crap that they spoonfeed you. you are a smart, compassionate man. explain to me how you can reconcile the values that you taught me -- honesty, standing up for what you believe in, fairness, justice for all -- with the corruption, the dodging of responsibility for their actions, the inequities and inherent racism of their policies.

but i can't ask him these things. for a couple of reasons. first, we stopped talking about all politics years ago when he started sending me jokes about jesse jackson that i found to be kinda racist. my dad is not a racist. that i know. so when the email crowd he started hangin with started clouding his judgment i was devastated. so devastated that i couldn't even begin to bring it up to him... which brings me to the second reason i can't ask him about these things. i am so demoralized by his current choices. de-moral-ized. my dad taught me my morals. when he renegs on everything he taught me i feel eviscerated, gutted like a fish. he was my hero.

so, what do i do instead? well, since i'm an atheist, i can't exactly pray so i seek. i seek out his influences to try to better understand what the fuck is getting into his head.

last night i was channel surfing and came across a fox show hosted by geraldo rivera (yeah, i didn't even know he had a show - at least not on broadcast) and he was covering the outrage of the NSA data mining our phone calls. my dad used to work for the NSA so every time they break another law i keep wondering if this might be the straw that does it... (honestly i also wonder if my dad will approve of their policies when their illegal data mining wire tapping of lawful citizens leads to his daughter being locked up for being a dissenter/subversive/"unamerican" for protesting this war and the next war -- but i digress) so, geraldo is going off in his hyperbolic style about the intrusion and the illegality and i'm thinking "yeah, maybe this will be it! maybe daddy will see the light when even fox sees that this president is a criminal! who else could they possibly blame?"

and then geraldo closes with this: "With all due respect to our president -- who I do respect -- if congress doesn't stop this guy, General Hayden, then he'll soon be peeking into our bedrooms!" and then he kisses his two fingers and gives a peace out sign to the camera.

nevermind.

Way to support the troops!

2006-05-11T18:32:00.000-07:00

Raw story is tipping us to tomorrow's NYT's coverage of an absolute horror story about the military abusing boot campers who get injured. The military folks who get hurt in boot are fakin it and just trying to get out of the service so they send them to a hell that some of them never return from, literally. Two have died.

Raw story and NYT aren't telling you where they found out about it, but I am. Read all about it here: Only Volunteers

And then check out Jared Guinther's story. Way to support the troops, huh?

"you look mighty comfortable"

2006-05-09T14:04:00.000-07:00

yep, that's what the president said to a man sitting in a wheelchair at a medicare fair when he didn't rise to greet him:

Mr. Bush visited with some waiting in a courtyard where Frank Sinatra's "Young At Heart" played on the loudspeakers, then he went indoors where people were looking over the laptops. He walked around giving handshakes and hugs to those who rose for his entrance, and greeted a man who remained sitting in a wheelchair with, "You look mighty comfortable."

just think what he might say to those lazy fellas laying around at walter reed hospital with their legs blown off, or those lazier fellas laying in their graves...

2006-05-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

how can you run when you know?

what i did today instead of my errands

2006-05-01T22:59:00.000-07:00

mundacities

2006-04-29T22:13:00.000-07:00

just got in from a day of consumerism. i bought a pair of white jeans to wear on monday to work. i'm a teacher and i teach the children of immigrants. i don't feel like i can walk out of work and serve the cause at the same time so i'll wear white in solidarity..

we're listening to neil young's album and these lyrics come on as i come across this picture:

Thousands of children scarred for life
Millions of tears for a soldier's wife
Both sides are losing now
Heaven takes them in
Thousands of children scarred for life

how can we live with ourselves?

the point has been tipped but will we survive the time it takes to right?

Divine Peace

2006-04-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

yep, no services. at least not yet.

just took a road trip with the assisterant to scope out divine peace.

the campsite will be more rustic than casey since we won't have the peace house watching our back.

i'm going to start looking for some foam or something because those rocks look sharp.

i was thinking about the camp casey family joining the native americans in their peaceful protest against this bombing. i was asking myself what we are bringing to this communion. one thing we bring with us is our message -- "what noble cause?"

once, when i was acting in a chekov play, i went to a russian orthodox church service and later met the priest (minister, pastor?) when he so graciously hosted the cast at his home for dinner. one of the images he used to explain his religion was a staircase or a ladder. as you live your life on this incline you have to keep moving, there is no rest or stagnation. and every action or inaction either moves you up the staircase (and i assumed closer to god) or down the staircase. with every breath you are either doing good or not.

and as we join with others who have protested what we are doing to this earth we can at the very least ask the world if this action, this bomb test, this flexing of our muscles is moving us up the ladder or down.

is this a noble cause?

why are we doing it? to test a bomb? for what? to kill. is that a noble cause?

what if the killing is in "defense of democracy?" how exactly does that work? what are we defending if it has to be done by killing indiscriminately? and bombs are indiscriminate. especially 700 ton bombs. or nuclear bombs. indiscriminate killers. is that a noble cause?

remember this guy?

2006-04-23T22:53:00.000-07:00

well not only does he like to cut his wife out of huge photos, but he cut down a beloved tree in crawford...not a very nice neighbor..

(to read all about it click on the link below and then click on "print this" to read the whole article)

camp casey easter sunset

2006-04-23T17:51:00.000-07:00

this is what democracy looks like

2006-04-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

please read carlos' blog

2006-04-23T12:37:00.000-07:00

it's called Divided We Stand.

carlos is a beautiful man, passionate, poetic. he struggles with our language to explain the unexplainable -- how he lives with the death of his son for a lie.

Thank you Mary O. McCarthy

2006-04-22T13:50:00.000-07:00

ms. mccarthy, if i had your address i'd send you flowers.

i've had the great fortune of spending time with Ann Wright and Daniel Ellsberg lately and this is exactly the kind of action they have been urging.

and kudos to Post Executive Editor Leonard Downie Jr. who said people who provide citizens the information they need to hold their government accountable should not "come to harm for that."

don't like leaks, w? or is it that you just don't like leaks that hold you accountable? well, waaa waaa waaa! as your friend dick would say, you can "go fuck yourelf."

Chevy Tahoe Censorship

2006-04-08T12:45:00.000-07:00

so we've all been having loads of fun at CHEVY TAHOE's expense lately and they've been proudly exclaiming that it's all part of their plan and the cost of doing blogvertising yadayadayada.. but we've suspected all along that there's some censorship happening too.

no way to really prove it, but if you post an ad and it doesn't work then you post it again, right? i've mastered their little program quite well and i made one i call "august" and it's been yanked three times. i'll post it here again soon, but just in case it gets yanked again, i'll let you imagine it. is it the foul language that chevy opposes? is it the accusations of greed and global destruction they don't like? it hasn't been a problem with others' ads. so let's see what's so bad about "august"

MUSIC: Ominous chords up in background

VISUALS: Ugly grill of an SUV bearing down on the camera

TEXT: I remember that asshole in my rearview

VISUALS: More grill of SUV bearing down on camera

TEXT: It was hot. It was August in Texas

VISUALS: SUV close up trying to pass on the left

TEXT: The guy was trying to pick a fight

VISUAL: Blue background

TEXT: We would never buy an SUV like that

VISUAL: Yellow background

TEXT: But we rented one

VISUAL: Yellow background

TEXT: Camped in it for a week, outside Bush's "ranch," alongside Cindy Sheehan & thousands more

VISUAL: View of interior shot from rear with back hatch open.

TEXT: It was quite cozy. Kept the spiders out.

VISUAL: Blue background

TEXT: We're going back this Easter. Join us.

VISUAL: Green background

TEXT: www.BringThemHomeNow.org

VISUAL: Black background with logo

TEXT: TAHOE AN AMERICAN REVOLUTION

so what's the problem Chevy? not the revolution you had in mind? don't you support the troops?

Censor this, motherfuckers!

04/04/04

2006-04-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

please rest in peace Casey Sheehan and Mike Mitchell.

you would be so proud of your parents.

we'll stand with them until this war ends and your buddies are taken care of.

My very own CHEVY TAHOE commercial

2006-04-02T19:08:00.000-07:00

***EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA EXTRA***

mine have made it through! check it out:

(Dutchman's contribution)

An American Revolution

2006-04-01T14:02:00.000-08:00

this is one of the coolest things i've ever seen in my life.

as if i didn't already have some personal feelings about the CHEVY TAHOE. as if i didn't already have some general feelings about all SUVs...

then CHEVY TAHOE comes along and offers me a chance to make my very own CHEVY TAHOE commercial! it's a tie in with "The Apprentice" or some other craplicious tv entree recently pureed for my easy swallowing convenience.

i wish that i could show you the three little ditties that i ditted but i can't (UPDATE: see above). alas, CHEVY TAHOE may be on to us after, what.. two weeks? i can create to my little bleeding heart's content, but i can't save. i have to submit them to CHEVY TAHOE first before they'll send me a copy.

BUT that means that somebody at CHEVY TAHOE is actually looking at these things! how do i know? because, if you make blandola, ra-ra, i-love-my-dumb-car-more-than-my-dumb-husband-and-isn't-that-funny kinda spot, it comes through! so someone, somewhere is screening these. even if it's an intern/flunky/slave who's telling them that a certain percentage is unacceptable because it seems that a lot of people actively hate your product and your practices and what your company stands for, CHEVY TAHOE is getting the message.

and what is the message that most folks are sending? most are variations on the themes of global warming, blood for oil, slothfulness, asshole drivers and overcompensation for underrepresentation (dick jokes). of course, all of these messages end with the tag line,

"TAHOE: AN AMERICAN REVOLUTION"

this is a revolution. a "sit on it and spin" kind of revolution. CHEVY TAHOE provided us with a tool and we've sharpened it like a shiv and shoved it up their shiny chrome asses. and as far as any real marketing advantage for CHEVY TAHOE, the feel on the web is that folks aren't particularly moved to figure out how to use their interface just to make a lame car commercial.

but for those of us who do care about things like... the future, say... we're plenty motivated to send tons o' original content - and FOR FREE! you're welcome CHEVY TAHOE. how's it feel to be the one bending over, taking it up the ass for a change? i'm downright giddy.

i hope the libs at GM who still haven't quit from pangs of conscience will be finally moved to do so -- after they've laughed their asses off for a while.

and now for the links to some of my faves:

DVD
Hippies

Brother
Horse
Just Do It
Sex Machine
With Us?
Priceless
W's Car

and there are TONS more at Democratic Underground. for now. who knows when/if CHEVY TAHOE will yank them. (there are a few posted at YouTube. hope more show up there soon)

WARNING: watching these things is ADDICTIVE. lock up the cats and the kids. put the spouse to bed and smoke it if you got it.

then make one of your own.

or make two.

or three...

creative website, grim reminder

2006-03-30T22:37:00.000-08:00

Found this via The Map Room:

Iraq Coalition Fatality Map

A dramatic and effective animated Flash map that illustrates casualties suffered by coalition forces in Iraq over time: “The animation runs at ten frames per second — one frame for each day — and a single black dot indicates the geographic location that a coalition military fatality occurred. Each dot starts as a white flash and a larger red dot which fades to black over the span of 30 frames/days, and then slowly fades to grey over the span of the entire war.” Via Boing Boing.

creeeeepy

2006-03-23T19:55:00.000-08:00

jonesin for cable teevee again. wishing i could see last night's episode of south park, "The Return of Chef!"
instead of spending money on cable we spend it on computer which means i have to surf to piece together what happened.

ended up at defamer.com where he wraps up the whole scientology scathe with this:

"While likening Scientology to a "fruity little club" may be funny in a bratty sort of way, we're wondering if perhaps it's giving them too easy a retaliatory target. They are, after all, a club that helped many a conflicted little fruit kick their dangerous anti-psychotic medication habits, resolve their past-life issues, and maximize their life potential"

ummmmm... is he for real? or do i need to change the batteries in my joke detector?

for a good/better/interesting take on this check out the new york times

i'm back...

2006-03-19T23:43:00.000-08:00

flew back from nyc and hard right on thursday, taught elementary drama on friday, marched on saturday and collapsed today. completely exhausted. shouldn't feel this tired, dammit. is this age or terminal disease? or is that just redundant?

here are some pix from saturday's march:

one reason i'm an artist...

2006-03-16T22:48:00.000-08:00

Off Broadway

Posted: Wed., Mar. 15, 2006, 3:42pm PT

Hard Right (Players Theater; 199 seats; $25 top)

A Billy Humphreys and Dieter Weihl presentation of a play in one act, written and directed by David Barth. Henry - Jeremy Beck Greta - Shayne Dukevitch Barbara - Susan Engbrecht Bob - Dylan Price Phil - Stacy Shane

Dylan Price, left, menaces Jeremy Beck, Shayne Dukevitch and Susan Engbrecht in David Barth’s 'Hard Right.'

By MARK BLANKENSHIP
Here's proof that "Hard Right," a vicious political drama from David Barth, scrapes some kind of nerve: At the performance reviewed, patrons started yelling at each other across the aisles during the play. "How can you laugh at this? It's not funny!" said one man, reacting to the crowd's titters as a mysterious government agent terrorized a suburban family. But the laughs kept coming, especially when the agent offered absurd rationales for his behavior. "How can you laugh?" the man repeated, until someone retorted, "Don't tell me what to think!"
But the better response might have been, "Don't tell me what to feel." Because although "Hard Right" courts a political agenda, it's less a thought-provoking inquiry than a swift kick in the gut.
Barth, who also directs, has created such a visceral display of violence that viewers could easily be polarized, either shuddering at its power or laughing at its outsized intensity.
That's not unlike the effect of certain Pinter plays, in which terror springs from chatty rogues with unclear motives. Barth's work especially recalls "The Birthday Party," as both plays introduce characters who are subtly cruel to one another and then subject each other to unexplained menace.
But though it traffics mainly in dread, the production's tone is expertly controlled. At first, Barth even invites us to let down our guard. The opening scenes -- in which Henry (Jeremy Beck) returns from school for a Rosh Hashanah dinner with the folks -- have the breezy pace and throwaway jokes of situation comedy, offering no clue of what's to come.
And when Bob (Dylan Price) arrives, saying he's conducting a survey for Henry's college, the script teases us for a long time into thinking something worse will unfold.
The hint of danger, though, is all in the words: Price's engrossing perf keeps Bob collected and polite. Even when he's telling the family they cannot leave their home, his calm makes it chillingly hard to anticipate when his temper will blow. And once he has exploded, he regains his composure so quickly that we can be fooled into thinking he's finished his attack.
Like the rest of the ensemble, Price never seems to be acting. The naturalness of the perfs gives this production the taint of a grisly documentary. Tears, screams and rushes for the door have all been crafted to arise at believable moments.
Such verite violence is not easy to watch, and some might call it lurid. However, Barth applies a touch of unreality with his heightened language, and he gives the play a larger purpose by voicing obvious political biases.
Bob, for instance, justifies his actions by saying they're at the service of right-wing causes. Not that he commits to one over another: He might say he's testing the family's resolve in case a terrorist tortures them for information, only to suggest later that he's trying to get the Jewish clan to convert to Christianity.
Ultimately, none of the reasons stick. The emotional assault overwhelms the messages, leaving the impression that Barth is shrieking against conservative politics in general rather than a specific act or value.
There undoubtedly will be auds who dismiss the play for its lack of ideological clarity. But Barth's ambiguous approach makes his work more unsettling. Without a specific root, oppression becomes a force on its own, tearing through the play unchecked.
Invincible, oppressive violence is an uncomfortable idea. No wonder auds are fighting over how to receive it.

Set, Mark Cruzan; costumes, Jodi B.; lighting, Sarah Jakubasz; dramaturg, Zachary Barton; production stage manager, Billy Humphreys. Opened March 12, 2006. Reviewed March 14. Running time: 1 HOUR, 30 MIN.

HARD RIGHT previews March 7, 2006

2006-02-28T11:44:00.000-08:00

www.HardRightPlay.com

this is our marriage

2006-02-19T15:15:00.000-08:00

oh goodness gracious!

2006-02-14T10:48:00.000-08:00

recently got sucked into checking the with my old high school message board. jiminy!

My favorite teacher in high school would be one of two. First was my junior english teacher, Mrs. C. She made english interesting and seemed to take the time to REALLY explain things to me when I didn't catch it the first time. We read "The Glass Minacery" and even though I am not a reader in general, I really enjoyed the book. (even if I can't spell it) :) My next favorite, would be my Senior english teacher, Mrs. W, I think that was her name. We watched the movie "Olive Twist" during class, and I really fell in love with that movie at that time. Of all the teachers I had during my years there at good ole' --- .

i removed the name of the school to keep us all from undue embarrassment. poor teachers...

farewell coretta...

2006-02-07T21:58:00.000-08:00

i met an actual reader of my blog at a party on saturday night! beautiful pink-haired blog reader! makes me feel bad that i haven't been keeping up. i have good reasons though. i'm currently producing a play in new york city, editing a video of said play, negotiating a meeting with senator feinstein to bring the troops home NOW and doing whatever i can to bring some delinquent sixth graders to realize that drama is not an excuse to talk back to me and act like fools!

i'll try to keep up with the bloggin... in the meantime, i got one of those endlessly forwarded emails the other day with my new favorite bush joke. enjoy:

and farewell coretta. i would be proud to have folks shame that asshole at my funeral...

special for cassandra

2006-02-06T21:25:00.000-08:00

here honey, this will cheer you up:

Archival Footage of LSD Tested on British Troops

Thank you Google-Video-Of-The -Day

CINDY SHEEHAN ARRESTED BY CAPITOL POLICE INSIDE CAPITOL CHAMBER

2006-01-31T18:15:00.000-08:00

Anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan (C), whose son was killed serving as a U.S. serviceman in Iraq, is escorted by security personnel into the House of Representatives chamber for the State of the Union address by President Bush on Capitol Hill in Washington January 31, 2006. (Jason Reed/Reuters)

Anti-war protester Cindy Sheehan (L, blonde hair), whose son was killed serving as a U.S. serviceman in Iraq, is rushed out of the U.S. House of Representatives chamber by security personnel after arriving for the State of the Union address by U.S. President George W. Bush on Capitol Hill in Washington January 31, 2006. There were unconfirmed reports that Sheehan had been arrested. REUTERS/Jason Reed

here you can see the T-SHIRT george is afraid of, on the woman george hides from
it's not a banner
it's a t-shirt with something true on it
like garlic to a vampire

cassandra found this on brad blog here- follow his coverage of Cindy Sheehan's arrest tonight

Cindy Sheehan was arrested inside the Capitol before the speech- she was an invited guest of Rep. Woolsey.

accounts are trickling in (updated at the bradblog link above) - did she have a banner she attempted to unfurl? (why would she do that before the speech started? seems unlikely) one account says she had a political message on her t-shirt

the message? the number of dead soldiers killed in this war. she had to add a number to it to keep it current

Bush's America.

The dome of the United States Capitol building is illuminated at twilight as the U.S. Congress and the nation await President George W. Bush's State of the Union speech on Capitol Hill in Washington January 31, 2006. REUTERS/Jim Bourg

UPDATE: Arresting Cindy may backfire for the wingnuts. the arrest has become a big part of the State of Union coverage worldwide

Sen. Sheehan (D) CA?

UPDATE: It goes both ways.... kinda...

While Cindy was arrested, Beverly Young, the wife of 18-term Republican U.S. Rep. Bill Young of Florida, was escorted out of the House for wearing a Support The Troops shirt... CNN has it here

Why wasn't she handcuffed?

And lastly (for now?) Cindy herself tells you What Really Happened