Thursday, November 11, 2004

Let's the secession talk stop and the healing begin...Texas Style!

(Chamizal National Park in El Paso, Texas)

So Bush is reaching out to this half of the electorate with a more moderate choice for Attorney General and replacing John Ashcroft with Alberto Gonzales.

A lot has already been written about AG. The thing that struck me was this little bit of advice that he gave W back in 97 when he was advising him to put a Mexican citizen to death:

"Since the State of Texas is not a signatory to the Vienna Convention on Consular Relations, we believe it is inappropriate to ask Texas to determine whether a breach … occurred in connection with the arrest and conviction" of a Mexican national. Or, put another way, he asserted that an international treaty just didn't apply to Texas.

Now being an escapee from Texas this doesn't surprise me one bit. One thing that most non-Texans don't know is that when Texans are all growing up we get big doses of Texas history in the public schools. Now that ain't that big of a deal, right? But here's the thing... ask any Texan you know... preferably one who's got a lot of Texas National Pride, about Texas' right to secede.

See, as far as I can tell, we were all educated back in 7th grade to believe that when Texas rejoined the Union after the Civil War (the first one, that is), the state retained the right to secede.

Is it true?

Fuck no.

But you tell me... if a whole bunch of people, say a whole bunch of people who are real proud of their huge state, for no apparent reason... I mean, not that they have anything to be ashamed of -- but there isn't that much difference between them and Oklahomans and Louisianans and New Mexicans -- except if you say that to their faces they'll get all puffed up and stupid... Come to think of it, that's at least one thing they do have to be ashamed of...

I mean, give me a break. If you tell someone from Arizona that their land or people remind you of New Mexico, they're not going to go off on you. And I have yet to see residents of any other state who have some picture or painting or decoupage facsimile of their state hanging on every surface of their home or office... Have you ever watched "King of the Hill?" Notice their houses and their bars and their schools and their stores? Texas, Texas everywhere and not a soul to think...

But, anyway, if a whole big bunch of stubborn, proud, loud, defensive people have all been educated that they are somehow special, and they have the right to secede any damn well time they please... well, doesn't that mean something? Whether it's true or not, isn't it a set-up for a bad scene, at the very least?

I mean, their main symbol of pride is the Alamo. Remember the Alamo! Have you ever been to the Alamo? Don't you dare even think about fucking around at the Alamo... or keeping your baseball cap on indoors at the Alamo... the guards'll come up and tell you to take that thing off... and the thing about the Alamo... THE TEXANS LOST! It's a perfect symbol in some ways... it sort of makes sense when you think about how defensive they get if you even question anything about Texas...

And it explains why our president is such a petulant, pissy little bully too...

Myths about Texas and secession here and here.

Myths busted about Texas and secession here and here and here

Info about the Republic of Texas secessionist movement here


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