Thursday, May 12, 2005

I Want To Ride My Bicycle!

Many years back when Cassandra was a successful stage actor trying mightily to break into the lucrative field of industrial films and commercials that San Francisco's shallow market offered to full-time actors, she had a really lousy agent. This agent was cranky and mean and happened to be a former medic from Viet Nam. He had that stare. He also some kind of substance abuse problem that he was battling, and sometimes winning and sometimes not.

Now we all know that stereotype of agents belittling their clients, but this guy -- as I came to find out after I finally left him -- also happened to be screaming at the Casting Directors who would call and request us, the actors, his bread and butter. Not good. And also, it seems, the only way that we ever got work. The CD's had to call and request us since the agent wasn't hustling very much to find us work. Oh, did I also mention that he had substituted his addiction to substances with an addiction to computerized Bridge? Oh yeah, he was a winner.

I was reminded of him yesterday when the reports of the President's mid-week, midday bike ride was inadvertantly disclosed due to the OH SO SCARY, TERRIFYING, LIFE-THREATENING, POSSIBLY EXPLOSIVES-PACKED TWO SEATER CESSNA INVADING THE AIRSPACE OVER THE WHITEHOUSE!!!!

I was reminded of a time that I called my agent on a Wednesday morning to "check in" with him. Some young, gullible volunteer answered the phone and informed me that unfortunately he wasn't there. "He's gone for the weekend." Which fucking weekend? It's Wednesday! Last weekend or next?

Of course, I should give the Prez a break. Scott McClellan, the whitehouse's anally raped press whore, reminds us all that W. just returned "from a four-day trip overseas." Four days of "work" in a row! Must have been some kind of record for the Asshole King...


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