Thursday, May 05, 2005


Don't forget, today is the annual


"But, hey," you say, "I don't know what the hell to pray for!" Well don't you worry your pretty little head. These particular christians don't care if you're stoopid! Just follow them, little sheep:

The Freedom Five
Freedom Five is an initiative that challenges you to commit to prayer for our country on a daily basis. It involves praying for five minutes a day about five centers of power. By targeting these specific areas, America can experience the freedom that accompanies God’s power.

Pray that the Lord would grant wisdom, discernment and boldness to those who serve in authority over us, from city council members to the President. Also lift up appointed officials such as judges, cabinet members and agency heads, as well as the men and women in our military.

Pray for journalists to be fair and accurate and for entertainers to conduct themselves in a responsible manner.

(Didja hear that fellow Patriot Actors??)

Pray that your schools will get “back to basics” when it comes to educating our children, instilling the leaders of tomorrow with a respect for the Judeo-Christian values upon which our nation was founded.

Pray for your churches and their leaders while asking God to grant us the wisdom and vision to make the church a vessel for healing and revival in America.

Pray daily, not only for the institution of the family as a whole, but for individual families within your circle of influence that may be struggling.

“I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.”
— 1 Timothy 2:1-2 (NIV)

But whether you listen to your god or not, you better listen to your commander in chief:

NOW, THEREFORE, I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim May 5, 2005, as a National Day of Prayer. I ask the citizens of our Nation to give thanks, each according to his or her own faith, for the liberty and blessings we have received and for God's continued guidance and protection. I also urge all Americans to join in observing this day with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities.

"Wow," you say, "that's intense. But what about that Judeo-Christian thing back there in the Freedom Five under "Education?" What if I just want to pray to the Judeo part, or maybe even the Buddha or Mohammed or Zeus god? Do they count? I mean they all preach peace and love for your fellow man, so they count, don't they?"

mmmmm, uh, NO! What a fuck up you are, you heathen! And don't just take my word for it! In order to get the nifty downloads from the Pray Day site you have to agree to all of their evangelical terms like number three:

We affirm that there is only one Savior and only one gospel, although there is a wide diversity of evangelistic approaches. We recognize that everyone has some knowledge of God through his general revelation in nature. But we deny that this can save, for people suppress the truth by their unrighteousness. We also reject as derogatory to Christ and the gospel every kind of syncretism and dialogue which implies that Christ speaks equally through all religions and ideologies. Jesus Christ, being himself the only God-man, who gave himself as the only ransom for sinners, is the only mediator between God and people. There is no other name by which we must be saved. All men and women are perishing because of sin, but God loves everyone, not wishing that any should perish but that all should repent. Yet those who reject Christ repudiate the joy of salvation and condemn themselves to eternal separation from God. To proclaim Jesus as "the Savior of the world" is not to affirm that all people are either automatically or ultimately saved, still less to affirm that all religions offer salvation in Christ. Rather it is to proclaim God's love for a world of sinners and to invite everyone to respond to him as Savior and Lord in the wholehearted personal commitment of repentance and faith. Jesus Christ has been exalted above every other name; we long for the day when every knee shall bow to him and every tongue shall confess him Lord.
And in case that wasn't clear enough -- in case you were thrown off by all that presidential hooey about "each according to his or her own faith," here's their "Official Policy Statement on Participation of 'Non-Judeo-Christian' Groups in the National Day of Prayer:"

The National Day of Prayer was created by an act of Congress and is, therefore, intended for all peoples of faith to pray to the God of their understanding.

However, our expression of that involvement is specifically limited to the Judeo-Christian heritage and those who share that conviction as expressed in the Lausanne Convenant. If peoples of other faiths wish to celebrate in their own tradition, they are welcome to do so, but we must be true to those who have supported this effort and volunteered their time to promote it. National Day of Prayer is not a function of the government and, therefore, a particular expression of it can be defined by those who choose to organize it. This is not a church/state issue.

Nope, this ain't no "church/state" issue. This is an us/them issue. These particular christians worked hard for this Day of Prayer shit and you didn't so screw you and your god(s)! Got it? Good!

So baaa, baaa, baa, bow your knee little lamb and pray.

Praise Jesus!

And just remember what JesusPuppet said to me when I asked Him if he had time to listen to all my prayers:

"Of course I listen to all of your prayers, Cassandra. That is why the tsunami happened."



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