Took this little quiz into my own tiny little heart of darkness... just what I feared...
So here's what I think about these results: I am so fkng lazy that I can't even get it up enough to care that I'm lazy. No one else knows how lazy I am. I tell people all the time how lazy I am and they don't believe me, but I know it. I'm lazy in my heart. And that's where it really, really counts. Sure, I do a bunch of stuff. But I'm just doing all that stuff to get it out of the way so I can lay around later. No plans. Just want to lay around.
And as far as gluttony goes, I just imagine Homer Simpson saying this, "Mmmmm, gluttony, aauuuugggghhhhh..." and drooling over the very word like a meat donut. Mmmmmmm, donut made of meat, auuuuggggggghhhhh....
But what makes me a really bad liberal, what brings me to my knees in self flagellation is my wrath. I am vengeful. I long to spit in the face.... no, maybe laugh in the face... don't know if i can bring myself to laugh, it's not a laughing matter... damn it, can't even get joy from the "told you soes!" Well, let's just start by rounding up the fools.
I guess I'd start with that fking asshole who thought up "freedom fries" and "freedom toast." Yeah, you, Walter B. Jones, Jr.! Come on down, dinkus!
But then I read this piece about you and I can't do it.
I can still send out a big hearty FUCK YOU to Sinclair Broadcast Group for their newly climbed heights in hypocrisy. It seems that this year they approve of Nightline's Memorial Day selection, unlike last year when it "coincided with May ratings sweeps." Well la-di-fucking-da to you assholes. I'd like to really rip you a new one but the truth is I'm finding it hard to get behind this in a heartfelt wrathful way too because what we're talking about is this:
While such hypocrisy is worth noting, the real issue here is the horror which underlies the upcoming May 30 "Nightline" broadcast.
Last year, anchor Ted Koppel named and pictured 721 American service members who had died in Iraq. This year, the show will honor the "more than 900" people who have died since then. Yes, this year's broadcast will include those killed in Afghanistan, but 907 of those deaths were in Iraq, according to figures compiled by icasualties.org. Sixty U.S. troops have been killed this month alone, the highest number since January.
Tens of thousands of Americans pay close and constant attention to what is happening in Iraq — including those who are stationed there or are at risk of being sent there, or those who have friends or family members serving there.
But for tens of millions of Americans, the war is ignored or forgotten more often than not. Really, how often do you hear people talking about it in your neighborhood or workplace?
The deaths of American soldiers don't even make the top story on the TV news anymore, or the front page of the newspapers. The thousands of wounded never did. Nor the tens of thousands of Iraqi civilians killed and maimed.
The bloody, violent machine just keeps grinding away in the background — as though, in an echo of the "Star Wars" movies, it is all happening "long ago, in a galaxy far, far away."
So where does this leave me on my path of vengeance? I do wonder about the one close friend I lost near the beginning of this war. I wonder if she's come around yet...
But the truth is, when I do fantasize about each of these folks seeing the light -- both the strangers and the friends -- I still long to offer them a soft place to land. I can't stay angry at a person who believed enough in their country, this country, to stand by it even when it was so difficult. Even when it was wrong. But it was wrong. We were wrong, and "my country wrong or right" is not right. And standing by has never been right.
Maybe I'm just amazed and comforted that there are actually people in this country who are more idealistic than I am. They believed in the ideals of this country even when the evidence strongly suggested that our actions defied and defiled them. I've been disillusioned before. It hurts. And the longer I held on to my beliefs in the face of contradicting facts, the more it hurt when I accepted the truth. The people who are coming to the truth that we have been wrong, that America has been on the wrong side of much of this mess, that we are so much better than we have been behaving, the good folks who are facing the fiddler right now, they have to be hurting.
And we have to be cool. As much as we'd like to rage and rub their faces in it, we are not the prodigal son, they are. We have to stand by and help prepare the feast to welcome them back. It don't seem right. I never understood the raw deal the other brother got in the prodigal son story. I do know though, that if the prodigal one comes to his senses and stays home this time, stays in the light, on the good side of the force then I'll kick back right now and buy a round of meat donuts for everyone!