Lookout Ballerinas! Angry Conservatives want to push you off your bicycles!

God bless conservative hero Ted E. Schelenski of the Heritage Foundation.

He saw a ballerina on her bicycle, blocked her path with his car, got out, and pushed her to the ground!

What a MAN!

Obviously being a young ballerina on a bicycle she was A) planning a lifelong career sucking off the national teat in the subsidized "arts" in addition to B) ignoring the national call to burn fossil fuels in order to make the Iraq war "worth it."

Read all about this heroic Conservative's bold actions on the front lines of the Culture War, here.


It began as a shouting match on a busy Capitol Hill street corner during the frenetic morning commute, a bike-vs.-car incident not uncommon in a big city.

But then the silver-haired, retired Navy lieutenant
got out of his car, approached the red-headed ballet dancer riding a bike and allegedly shoved her to the ground, authorities said. He got back into his car and, as bystanders followed him, drove down the block to his nearby office, the bicyclist said.

The man was identified as Ted E. Schelenski, 64, vice-president for finance and operations at the Heritage Foundation, a think tank that promotes conservative policies. He pleaded not guilty this week to a charge of simple assault.

(Go Navy)